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| Posted by Gothic Bitch on 10-Aug-2005 | Pools win won't change meReporter: 'Tell me, Mr. Harris; will your ??1,000,000 win on the football pools
make any difference to your way of life?'
Pools winner: 'None at all. I shall carry on exactly as before.'
Reporter: 'But what about all the begging letters?'
Pools winner: 'Oh, I'll keep sending them out as usual.'
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| Posted by Mike Carlino on 10-Aug-2005 | When you kick offOver breakfast one morning, a little boy kept staring intently at his
grandfather. '1s anything the matter, son?' the old man asked.
'No, Gramps. I was just wondering what position you play in the football
team.'
'What are? You talking about?' laughed Gramps. 'I'm far too old to play
football.'
'Oh,' said the little. Boy. 'It's just that Dad' said that when you
kicked off, we'd be able to afford a new car.'
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| Posted by Tiffany A. LAng on 10-Aug-2005 | Cowley car plantThe following instruction recently appeared on the notice board of a large car
factory in Cowley:
ALL APPICATIONS FOR LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR FAMILY BEREAVE MENTS, SICKNESS, JURY
DUTY, ETC., MUST BE HANDED IN TO THE PERSONNEL MANAGER NO LATER THAN 6 P.M. ON
THE DAY PRECEDING THE MATCH.
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| Posted by terrys funny on 10-Aug-2005 | What is football?It has been described as a game with twenty-two players, two linesmen and
20,000 referees.
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| Posted by Chris Rinchik on 10-Aug-2005 | MineThere are two Bosnians playing for West Ham in an important league match. The
ball comes spinning towards them but the captain, who's also well placed to
receive the pass, shouts,
"Mine!", and both players hit the ground.
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| Posted by Rebecca L. O'Quinn on 10-Aug-2005 | I've lost my dadA small boy was crying his eyes out at a football match. Seeing his plight, a
policeman came up to him and asked what the problem was.
"I've lost my dad," cried the boy. "What's he like?" asked the policeman.
"Beer, fags and women," said the boy.
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