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| Posted by Christopher L. Eloy on 09-Aug-2005 | Price of gasI'm not sure if my local gas station owner is being a good business person or just trying to maximize his exploiting of the price of gasoline. His full service line now includes a drive up window to a loan officer.
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| Posted by greenmachine on 09-Aug-2005 | Out of gasA guy in Paris nearly got away with several paintings from The Louvre.
However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "I has no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by michelle on 09-Aug-2005 | Birth control pillA truck driver was pulled over by a state trooper.
The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.
Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?"
"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.
"Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was fucked."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by M C 0 4 on 09-Aug-2005 | Missing carA guy gets a phone call late at night.
A voice on the other end asks: "Hey man, do you need a car?"
Guy: "No."
Next morning he goes outside and his car is gone.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by ben kiesel on 09-Aug-2005 | Thanks for the ride"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
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| Posted by Tiger Lily on 09-Aug-2005 | Box OfficeAs the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the
passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."
Joe, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the
cockpit, Now it's the 'box office'."
Submitted by Gravedigger
Edited by Curtis
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