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| Posted by john mcgilvray on 09-Aug-2005 | Priestly DutiesOne Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work.
Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you really going to let him get away with this?''
''No, I guess not,'' says God.
The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.
Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?''
To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''
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| Posted by Jon Leow on 09-Aug-2005 | Psyched UpIn a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?"
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| Posted by Ed J. Early on 09-Aug-2005 | Rookie PitcherA rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
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| Posted by Max Margulies on 09-Aug-2005 | Subway Series SchoolOn the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?"
Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?"
Rosie replied, "I'm a Yankees fan and I hate the Mets."
The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Yankees fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So if Rosie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?"
Rosie chimed in, "A Mets fan!!!"
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| Posted by Haley N. Plath on 09-Aug-2005 | Tee ShotA guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball'schance in hell of hitting her from here!"
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| Posted by cherry lover on 09-Aug-2005 | Tennis BallsOne day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?"
she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset.
"That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
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