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| Posted by wraith on 14-Aug-2005 | Problem aboard
'Curiosity'
A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of the toilet.
But each time he looked up, the illuminated sign proclaimed
that it was occupied.
The stewardess, aware of his predicament, suggested that he
uses the airplane's new prototype women's loo.
But he must not press any of the buttons inside. The were
labelled WW,WA,PP, and ATR.
The man's curiousity got the best of him and he started
pressing the buttons one by one.
When he pressed WW, Warm, fragrant Water was sprayed all
over his entire bottom. He thought, wow, the women really
have it made.
Still curious, he pressed the button marked WA, and a gentle
breeze of Warm Air quickly dried his hindquarters. He thought
this was fantastic and reached for the button marked PP.
This yielded a large Powder Puff that delicately applied a
soft talc to his rear. Naturally, he couldn't resist the
last button marked ATR.
When he woke up in the hospital, he buzzed for the nurse.
"What happened to me? The last thing I remember is that I
was in the new ladies' room on a plane."
"Yes," replied the nurse, "apparently you were having a
great time until you pressed the ATR button, which stands for
AUTOMATIC TAMPON REMOVER. Your penis is under your pillow."
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| Posted by BloodAngel on 14-Aug-2005 | Where Did We Crash?Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the
wilds of Alaska for a week of elk hunting, just the same as they did the
year before.
When the pilot returned with the plane Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the
pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four elk!" The pilot
regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the
weight of two elk. You'll have to leave the other two behind."
Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to
fly this plane out without all four elk," Jake demanded.
The eager to please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three
of them and their four elk. About fifteen minutes into the flight the
engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the
ground.
Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do
you have any idea where we are?"
Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from
where we crashed last year.
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| Posted by Rostik Kuskovsky on 14-Aug-2005 | the man who broke down in his vana man is driving along the highway in his van when he suddenly
hears a
"tttttttttssssss!" sound.
He pulls over and gets out of his van to see what the sound
was,he sees his tyre is flat so he gets the jack and starts
cranking up the wheel when a man comes from nowhere and smashes
his window and steals his radio.
The man with the burst tyre says"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU
ARE DOING?"
The other man replys "well if your having the tyres i'm having
the radio"
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| Posted by Dr Drew on 14-Aug-2005 | A Bloned HikeOne day a red head, a burgandy, and a blonde went for a hike.
When they were already to start hiking the burgandy said "Did
you gals bring anything because I brought food incase we get
hungry?" Then the red head said "I brought water in case we get
thristy!" Then the blonde said " Well I brought a door from a
car. If we get hot we can roll down the windows!"
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| Posted by Matt A. Rogers on 14-Aug-2005 | 3 In a TrainThere was a man, woman and gay in a train and the train went
into a tunnel. As it is an old fashioned train, there were no
lights so it went pitch black. Then there was a kissing sound
and a slapping sound. When the lights came back on, the man and
woman were sitting like nothing had happened and the gay was
rubbing his cheek like he had been slapped. The gay thought that
the man kissed the woman and the woman slapped him but missed
and hit him. The woman thought the gay tried to kiss the man so
the man slapped the gay and the man thought, "This is great!
Next time we go under a tunnel, I'll make another kissing sound
and slap the gay!"
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| Posted by Dan Smee on 14-Aug-2005 | hellA man goes to hell and is very upset and is crying.
The devil approaches him and says that hell is not such a bad
place
" Hell's ok" And the devil says "When you were alive did you
like women?"
The man replies "Loved them, they are great!"
"Well, you are going to love Monday's, you can have any women
and as many as you like" says the devil.
"What about drinking, alchol?" says the devil.
"Well, I had my own home brew and drinking was my hobby" says
the man.
"Tuesday, all the alchol you can have and of any sort" says the
devil.
"Now what about drugs?" says the devil.
"I dabbled in drugs at college." says the man.
"Wednesday all the drugs you want." says the devil.
"Now what about men? Did you, you know, like men?" says the
devil.
"Absolutely not, no way!" says the man.
"Well your going to hate Thursday then!" says the devil.
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