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():little johnny (1883): Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class |
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| Posted by fallen*starlight on 12-Aug-2005 | Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade classProverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:
It is always darkest...Just before you flunk a test.
There is nothing new...under a rock.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with...a private jet.
A committee of three...gets things done when they are not fighting.
If you can't stand the heat...try Antarctica.
Better late than...absent.
A rolling stone...may dent the floor.
If at first you don't succeed...live with it.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry...and then blow your nose.
A bird in the hand is....better than a woodpecker on your head.
Early to bed, early to rise...and you will get the best cereal.
Two head...are pretty scary.
It is better to light a candle than...to light a bomb.
A miss is as good as...a mister.
A penny saved...is not a lot.
Don't burn you bridges...or you'll fall in the lake.
Haste makes...sweat
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| Posted by Angel Paterson on 12-Aug-2005 | Cows EarthquakeQ. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an Earth quake? A. A milk shake!
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| Posted by Jaz on 12-Aug-2005 | The TrainA few days ago, a mother was working in the kitchen and listening to her son playing with his new electric trains in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now because this is the last stop. All of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train now, because we're leaving."
The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now go to your room for two hours. When you calm down, you may play with your trains as long as you use proper language."
Two hours later, the mother was still working in the kitchen when her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his trains. The train stopped and the mother heard, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take your belongings. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
For those just boarding, we ask that you stow your hand luggage under the seat and we hope you enjoy your trip. For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!"
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| Posted by Nicole T on 12-Aug-2005 | Taste TestA teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time."
Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted,
"Spit 'em out, they're assholes!"
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| Posted by dan hoffman on 12-Aug-2005 | Why did the boy...Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
It was a high school.
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| Posted by Mark M on 12-Aug-2005 | Knock Knock BiggishKnock Knock Who's there?
Biggish
Biggish who?
No Thank you!
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