|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Rubester on 14-Aug-2005 | Put Your Jacket on BackwardsTwo bikers were riding down a country road on a Harley. The driver's
leather jacket wouldn't stay closed because the zipper had broken, so he
pulled over. "Just put your jacket on backwards," his buddy suggested.
Then they zoomed off down the road, until they hit a curve at high speed
and crashed. A farmer found them and called the police.
"Is either of them showing any sign of life?" asked the officer.
"Well, the first one was" replied the farmer, "until I turned his head
around the right way."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by MOS on 14-Aug-2005 | TupeeAn airstewardess was attending to passengers on an aircraft one day when a
lady approached her looking very angry.
"Excuse me," said the lady, "but I would like to make a complaint!"
"Yes maam?" the stewardess replied.
"I was taking a nap just now when i felt somebody tugging at my panties
and touching my pussy. Tried as i might but I still couldn't find the
culprit !".
The stewardess thought that the lady was trying to play a prank and didn't
take her seriously. Nevertheless, she told the lady that she would look
into the matter straight away.
As she continued serving the passengers, another woman approached her with
the same story. Perplexed, she decided to investigate.
While making her way to the back of the aircraft, she chanced upon an old
man crawling on the floor as though searching for something.
"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?", she said.
" Yes please, my dear lady", he replied. "You see, I am blind, and as luck
would have it, I seemed to have lost my tupee. Could you help me find it?"
"What kind of a tupee, sir?"
"Well, it's kind of small and parted at the side. Twice I thought I had
found it but those were parted at the center."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mulder lover (I'm Scully) on 14-Aug-2005 | What time is it?A couple was on vacation when they realized they had left their watches at
the hotel. They saw a man resting with his donkey and asked him if he knew
what time it was. The man looked up and grabbed the donkeys balls, lifted
them up and said, "Well it looks like it's 2:10 in the afternoon." The
couple amazed at the mans ability to tell time by lifting the donkeys
balls, asked, "How can you tell time by lifting the donkeys balls?" The
man said, "It's very easy, first you lift the donkeys balls like this," he
then lifted them as the couple watched. "O.K" The man said, "Now you can
see the clock on the wall over there."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Salman S. Dossa on 14-Aug-2005 | Hungry?There were two guys who needed a place to stay, so they came to
a farmer's house. The farmer agreed to let them stay as long as
they didn't eat his vegetables and fruits. During the night, the
men got hungry and decided to sneak out anyway and get a bite to
eat from his garden. In the morning, the farmer knew what they
had done.
"I'll punish you," he promised. "Now, both of you go get
one hundred of your favorite fruit or vegetable out of the
garden and then come back." One of the men came back first, and
he had picked one hundred grapes. Then the farmer told him,"OK,
now shove one up your nose." The man did. "Now another." The man
started to protest, but the farmer pulled out a gun. "Put it
up!!" shouted the farmer. The man did, and then chuckled to
himself. "ANOTHER!" the man chuckled, and then did again. After
about five miniutes of this, the farmer had it. "Why are you
laughing?" he asked. The guy replied, "Man, my buddy's out there
picking watermelons!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Elizabeth on 14-Aug-2005 | 10 fun things to do at an airport or on an airplan1. In the bathroom make paper airplanes and throw them into
stalls.
2. Say your in Northwest ask the lady at the front desk if this
is Southwest.
3. Whisper quietly but loud enough for someone else to hear
you, "Do you think we should blow up the plane now?"
4. Ask at the front desk if she could call someone up there
named "bea reject."
5. If your in the back get up every minute and knock on the
bathroom door and say, "Hey you having fun?"
6. Accidentally when you reach for the overhead compartment let
your bag fall out onto someone's head.
7. Keep telling the steward in a French voice do you have any
Grey Poupon.
8. Pretend to sing along but sing something stupid like "ketchup
and mustard are yummy on bread" or "saggy butt cheeks saggy saggy
butt cheeks."
9. Halfway through the flight go up to the pilots and say, "I
think I left my coat at the airport could we turn around?"
10. Sit in the back and when people walk by stick your foot out.
11. (bonus) got to the bathroom and stay in there the whole
flight making sex noises.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by DIRRTYbarbie on 14-Aug-2005 | Things to Do on an Airplane- When the flight attendant asks you if you would like some
peanuts, say, "Whoa! slow down there! we barely know each other!"
- Yell "Fire in the hole!"
- Ring for the flight attendant and then ask "are we there yet?"
- When it's sleeping time, after a while, see if you can go to
every row and open up the windows.
- Call for an all-out food fight and see if you can get people
to join in.
- When eating, ask the stranger next to you, "Are you gonna eat
that?"
- Before going to the bathroom, ask the flight attendant if the
bathroom is (make up a word) like "is this bathroom
intersaniable?" Or "is this bathroom non malapated?"
- When watching the movie, change the sound channels of the
stranger next to you without him noticing.
- Yell "There's something on the wing!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
