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| Posted by Sarah Fletcher on 14-Aug-2005 | Rabbit SexWhy don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
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| Posted by britt conrado on 14-Aug-2005 | Medium ChickenWhy did the chicken go to the trans-channel medium?
To get to the "other side"
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| Posted by Ashley L. Haag on 14-Aug-2005 | Animal LoverA carpet installer was laying new living room carpeting in a large mansion. After laboriously pulling, stretching, and tacking the carpet, he finally finished, and gratefully sat back to enjoy a cigarette. Reaching into his shirt pocket, however, he found that his cigarettes were gone, and looking toward the center of the room, he saw a bulge the size of a cigarette pack under the new carpeting.
He of course had no intention of pulling up the carpet, so instead he took a large mallet, and pounded the lump flat, so it could not be seen. He then hopped in his truck and headed back to the office. On the way, he found his cigarettes in the glove compartment.
Just then his cellular telephone rang. When he answered it, he discovered it was the dispatcher from his office. The dispatcher said that the homeowner had just called them in a panic. It seems their son's favorite pet hamster was missing. Had the carpet layer seen the hamster while he was in the house?
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():animal jokes (1719): The Difference Between Cats and Dogs |
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| Posted by Kit Cloudkicker on 14-Aug-2005 | The Difference Between Cats and DogsA dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
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| Posted by Charisma K. Carsinoger on 14-Aug-2005 | Safe Sex in AustraliaWhat do you call safe sex in Australia?
Marking an 'X' on the sheep that kick!!!!
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| Posted by geoff bauer on 14-Aug-2005 | A Bunch of BullA rancher bought a humongous new bull and unloaded it on the range. In the herd, there were already three bulls--one fairly large, one medium size, and one small. The fairly large bull had been servicing half the heifers, the medium-size bull took care of a third of them, and the little bull had the rest.
When the three bulls saw the new bull, who was bigger than all three put together, the large bull said to the new one, "You can have as many of my cows as you want. I'm too old for any hassle."
The medium-size bull said the same.
The small bull puts his head down and starts snorting and clawing the ground with his hoofs.
The other two bulls look at him and say, "What the hell are you doing? He'll kill you!"
The little bull says, "Hell, he can have the cows. I just want to make damn sure he knows I'm a bull."
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