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| Posted by Mera Roloff on 09-Aug-2005 | RailroadTwo drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk replies, "Yes, but have you seen how low the hand rail is?"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Manoj Joshi on 09-Aug-2005 | Airline foodIt was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
She replied, "Yes or No."
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| Posted by Laura Nowicki on 09-Aug-2005 | Petrol priceHave you seen the new warning labels at service station that they have posted next to the prices?
Warning : Filling up could be hazardous to your wealth.
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| Posted by Asheesh Joshi on 09-Aug-2005 | Two Sea MonstersTwo sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean, looking for something to do.
They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes.
Bob, the first sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped it over and ate everything on the ship.
A little while later, they came up to another ship, again hauling potatoes.
Bob again capsizes the ship and eats everything onboard.
The third ship they found was also hauling potatoes and Bob once again capsized it and ate everything.
Finally his buddy Bill asked him, "Why do you keep tipping over those ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?"
Bob replied, "I wish I hadn't, but I just can't help myself once I start. Everyone knows you can't eat just one potato ship."
Submitted by Muffin_007
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Megan S. Renner on 14-Aug-2005 | Handy Arab PhrasesUseful Phrases To Know When Traveling Through Arab Countries:
AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN. Thank you for showing me your marvelous
gun.
FEKR GABUL GARDAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR. I am delighted to accept your
kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my
legs apart
SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE. I agree with everything you have
ever said or thought in your life.
AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH-HAST. It is exceptionally kind of you
to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.
FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYE MOHEMARA
JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN. If you will do me the kindness of not harming my
genital appendages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in
public.
KHREL, JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEII AMRIKAHEY. I will tell you the names and
addresses of many American spies traveling as reporters.
BALLI, BALLI, BALLI! Whatever you say!
MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLIEH, GHORBAN. The red blindfold would be lovely, your
excellency.
TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELLEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM. The
water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.
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| Posted by dontrell on 09-Aug-2005 | New driver's licenseMartin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
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