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| Posted by Chris D. Rodgers on 13-Aug-2005 | Turning into a horseA middle-aged woman enters her family doctor's office in a frantic state. She says, "Doctor, I think I'm turning into a horse!"
The doctor, taken aback, replies, "I'm sure you may have SOME problem, but I assure you no human has ever turned into a horse."
The woman became more insistent and said, "Doctor, look at my teeth. They're getting bigger and more yellow!"
The doctor calmly replied, "Yes, I see. Your teeth appear a bit larger and more yellow than your last visit, but I don't think you're turning into a horse."
Getting more frustrated, the woman said, "Well, I think I'm getting a mane! Look at all this hair on the back of my neck. It's grown 5 inches in ONE WEEK!"
Becoming more concerned, the doctor said, "You're NOT turning into a horse. We'll just shave your neck occasionally."
At this point the woman became considerably frustrated, speaking faster and louder. "Just look at my finger and toe nails! They've become very thick and big. I'm developing HOOVES!"
The doctor in amazement cried, "Holy cow! I've never seen finger and toe nails THAT big!"
Then the woman pulls up the back of her skirt and said, "And look at this, doctor. My backbone is protruding significantly from my butt!"
The doctor looked in amazement, then started scribbling on a small piece of paper.
The woman asked, "Are you writing me a prescription?"
The doctor said, "No. I'm writing a memo to my brother-in-law. He works at City Hall. Take this to him and he'll give you a permit to take a dump in the street!"
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| Posted by Hench on 13-Aug-2005 | Snail carThere was a snail who went to a car dealership one day. The dealer came out and asked "How can I help you?"
"Well," says the snail, "I want a car, but not just any car. I want it to be the fastest car you have."
"Okay," the dealer replied, "Anything else?"
"Yes," the snail said. "Could you paint it green with bright yellow S's on it?"
"Um, okay. It will be ready by next week. Come get it then."
"Great," said the snail and he left.
The following week, the snail returned and was overjoyed to see his bright green new car with yellow S's on it. The dealer looked at him and said "Just one question. Why did you want our fastest car painted bright green car with S's on it?"
The snail replied, "So that when people are walking down the street, they will turn and look and say 'Look at that S car go!!!'"
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():animal jokes (1719): If you thought the rooms were small... |
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