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| Posted by Falcon Falcon on 09-Aug-2005 | Red TomatoesA beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work.
So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous!
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| Posted by Aaron Y on 09-Aug-2005 | Antonio VillaraigosaVoters in Los Angeles elected a new mayor -- Antonio Villaraigosa.
Voters admitted they only voted for Villaraigosa because they want to hear Arnold Schwarzenegger pronounce it.
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| Posted by sarah simone on 09-Aug-2005 | Pulling backOn Newsweek's story about U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay flushing a copy of the Koran down the toilet
The White House is still very upset about this. They said Newsweek should have retracted the story as soon they found out they got its facts wrong.
If we pulled back every time we got our facts wrong, we wouldn't even be in Iraq.
-Jay Leno
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| Posted by Ivy M. Oberlander on 09-Aug-2005 | Toughest jobWell, I just found out, you know what the toughest job in the world!
Trying to sell subscriptions to Newsweek in Afghanistan."
-Jay Leno
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| Posted by Frenzy Freek on 09-Aug-2005 | Third World debtSecretary of State Condoleezza Rice had lunch with U2's Bono to talk about Third World debt.
Is he the best choice?
I mean if your going to talk to a rock star who's an expert on massive debt then maybe MC Hammer's the guy you want to talk to.
-Jay Leno
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| Posted by Anna F. Greble on 09-Aug-2005 | New jobA young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."
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