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| Posted by korn_kid on 08-Aug-2005 | Red wagonLittle Jane was sitting in her red wagon with her dad's fireman hat on, and her father walked by and said man that sure is a fine fire engine you have there.. all you need is a hose, a siren and a motor, and it would be perfect.
The next day her father walks by her again and now she has her hose strapped to the side, a dog tied to the front, and a cat tied to the back.
He says, "Wow! That really looks like a fire engine now, but I think you were also suppose to tie the cat in the front and she says "Then how would I have a siren?"
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| Posted by stephan o. brion on 09-Aug-2005 | Uncle CharlieA teacher was giving class lessons in morals and asked for examples.
Little Mary stood up and said,
'My father is a chicken farmer and when we collect the eggs each morning, we take more than one basket, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket.'
'Very good, Mary,' said the teacher. 'Any more morals?'
Little Johnny stands up.
'During the war,' he says, 'my Uncle Charlie was alone in a fox-hole with a rifle and a bottle of whisky.'
'A whole German battalion was approaching him, so he had a big gulp of the whisky and fired all his bullets at the Germans, killing at least 100. He fell back into the fox-hole, took another large swig of whisky and ran out and used his bayonet and rifle butt to kill all the Germans left.'
'That's very brave of your uncle,' said the teacher, 'but where's the moral to the story?'
'Well.' said Johnny, 'You don't f*** around with Uncle Charlie when he's been on the piss.'
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| Posted by derek on 09-Aug-2005 | Little SimonLittle Simon came running into the house and asked,
'Mummy, can little girls have babies?'
'No,' said his mum, 'of course not.'
Simon ran back outside and his mum heard him yell to his friends, 'It's okay, we can play that game again!'
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| Posted by Vince Carter!!! on 09-Aug-2005 | Smart pillsAs most young, weak and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school.
They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable.
It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.
The bully without asking snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?"
"Well, they're smart pills."
"Smart pills?" the bully asked. Then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth.
"Pweeuuweppblahhh!!" he reacted. "What is this stuff? It tastes like rabbit shit!!"
"See, you're getting smarter already."
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Danny Landau on 10-Aug-2005 | ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZThere was a little boy who wanted to know the alphabet. He went to his teacher
and said "Teacher, teach me the alphabet, but make it quick 'cause I have to go
to the bathroom. "Okay," she said. "Recite the alphabet, please." (read this
part carefully) "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ," "where's the "P" asks the teacher.
"running down my leg," answers the boy.
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| Posted by vic Lee on 08-Aug-2005 | Blueberry HillLittle Johnny walked into his class and the teacher asked where he had been. he replied, "On blueberry hill."
The teacher, still confused, said, "Ok... have a seat." Another boy walked in and the teacher asked, "Where have you been." he replied, "On blueberry hill."
The teacher grumbled a bit and continued class. Enevtually, a girl walked in and the teacher said, "Let me guess... You were on blueberry hill."
The girl replied "No, but how did you know my name was Blueberry Hill?"
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11 people have rated this joke: |
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