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():funny quotes (263): Replies...


Posted by Keith Mc Laughlin on 14-Aug-2005

Replies...

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're
the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing
him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like you are
crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

   

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():funny quotes (263): After all, I couldn't make a picture called...


Posted by lu v. buggy on 07-Aug-2005

After all, I couldn't make a picture called...

After all, I couldn't make a picture called ``In Search of Spock'' and have it end with Captain Kirk turning to the audience and saying, ``Sorry, folks, we just couldn't find him.''

- Leonard Nimoy, Director of Star Trek IV: The Search for Spock

   

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():funny quotes (263): When someone says, "It can't be done," they're...


Posted by superM65 on 07-Aug-2005

When someone says, "It can't be done," they're...

When someone says, "It can't be done," they're usually right. They can't do it.
- Harvey Mackay

   

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():funny quotes (263): In the woods a saw a rabbit with a candle...


Posted by James Rintamaki on 07-Aug-2005

In the woods a saw a rabbit with a candle...

In the woods a saw a rabbit with a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

- Steven Wright

   

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():funny quotes (263): When you participate in sporting events, it's...


Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 07-Aug-2005
When you participate in sporting events, it's...
When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose ... it's how drunk you get
- Homer J. Simpson

   

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():funny quotes (263): I always turn to the sports page first, which...


Posted by Alex C on 07-Aug-2005
I always turn to the sports page first, which...
I always turn to the sports page first, which record people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
- Chief Justice Earl Warren

   

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