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():nerd jokes (650): Retard


Posted by lafonda on 13-Aug-2005

Retard

Q:How do u get 5 retards into an ambulance??

A:2 in the front 2 in the back and the other on the top making the siren sound effects.


   

19 people have rated this joke:
5.42/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Beware of quantum ducks...


Posted by Deliliah L. Cutting on 07-Aug-2005

Beware of quantum ducks...

Beware of quantum ducks

(quark! quark!)

   

3 people have rated this joke:
5.33/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Window washers


Posted by Smart Fool on 12-Aug-2005

Window washers

There were 3 male windowwashers. One Mexican one American and one Polish. At lunch break one day the Mexican opened his lunch and got a burrito. He said,\"man if i get another burrito im gonna jump.\" The American said,\"if i get another bologna sandwich im gonna jump.\" The Polish guy said,\"if i get another sausage im gonna jump. The next day they all commited suicide. At their funerals the Mexican wife said,\" If only I would have known he didnt want another burrito i would have packed him something else.\" The Polish wife said,\" I would have packed my hubbie something else if i wouldve known.\" Then they turned and looked at the American wife. She said, \"what are u looking at me for, he packs his own lunches.\"
   

7 people have rated this joke:
5.29/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Nice Parrot


Posted by Joe Skager on 12-Aug-2005

Nice Parrot

There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother.

A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious."

"WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!"

The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"
   

6 people have rated this joke:
5.17/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Doctor's diet


Posted by J C. B on 13-Aug-2005
Doctor's diet
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. ''I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.''

When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. ''Why, that's amazing!'' the doctor said, ''Did you follow my instructions?''

The woman nodded. ''I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.''

''From hunger, you mean?''

''No, from skipping.''


   

3 people have rated this joke:
5.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon...


Posted by Nick Jerimiah on 07-Aug-2005
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon...
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
- Mike Adams

   

11 people have rated this joke:
4.91/10
     

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