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| Posted by Chelsea on 09-Aug-2005 | Rottweiler at barPaddy was standing at the bar with a Rottweiler at his feet.
'Does your dog bite, Paddy?' asked Mick.
'No,' replied Paddy.
So Mick went to pat the dog and the dog just about tore Mick's arm off.
'I thought you said your dog didn't bite,' screamed Mick.
'That's not my dog,' replied Paddy.
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| Posted by David Stouffer on 09-Aug-2005 | Shy guy in barA very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.
After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"
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| Posted by Matt C. Messinger on 09-Aug-2005 | Monkey in barA man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He sips it and sets it down a monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint.
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey.
The barman replies the piano player.
The man walks over to the piana player and says "Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer."
The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it I'll play it."
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():bar jokes (2610): Merle goes out drinking every night... |
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| Posted by Mark J. Houlihan on 10-Aug-2005 | Merle goes out drinking every night...Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would
spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, quite inebriated, around
midnight each night.
He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn't get the
door open. And every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let
him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant
nights out and always coming home in a drunken state. But Merle just continued
his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior and was
particularly distraught by it all.
The friend listened and said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently
when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving
words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then he might change his ways."
The wife thought that this might be a good idea.
That night, Merle took off again after dinner. And at about midnight, he
arrived home in his usual condition.
His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Merle in.
Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and
led him into the living room. She sat Merle down in an easy chair, put his feet
up on the ottoman, and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started
to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to Merle, "It's pretty
late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you think."
At that, in his inebriated state he replied, "I guess we might as well. I'll
get in trouble when I get home anyway!"
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| Posted by laugh16 on 08-Aug-2005 | Donkey in the barone guy walks in to a bar sees a crying donkey sitting on a pot of gold and he asks the bartender whats up with the gold? The bartender said if you can get the donkey to shut up the gold is yours.
The guy says ok, and he walks over to the donkey and whispers something in the donkeys ear the donkeys cracks up laughing so the guy gets the pot of gold.
A week later he walks into the bar and sees the donkey still laughing sitting on another pot of gold he asks the the bartender was up with the gold the bar tender said if you can get the donkey to shut up,I'll give you the gold.
The guy says ok but ill have to take him out side the bartender says ok then the guy takes the donkey out side for a min walks back in 5 min later and the donkys crying again the bartender asks how in the hell did you do that the guy says to make him laugh I said my dick was bigger than his, and to make him cry I showed him.
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| Posted by Laura Brown on 08-Aug-2005 | Fag barTwo fags walk into a gay bar. One fag says to the other, "Do you cum here often?"
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