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| Posted by Alycia Dufresne on 12-Aug-2005 | Safety tipCalculus and automobiles don't mix -- never drink and derive
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| Posted by al -. harvey on 12-Aug-2005 | Two Things To Worry About (Classic)There are only two things to worry about:
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about;
but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about:
either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about;
if you die, there are only two things to worry about:
either you will go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But, if you go to hell you'll be so darned busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry...
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| Posted by Mark A. O'Neill on 13-Aug-2005 | Your so oldyour so old you sat behind jesus in the 2nd grade
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| Posted by Tom A. Woelky on 09-Aug-2005 | Only Six Months to L"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news", the doctor told his anxious patient, "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance.
"I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"OK", the doctor said, "Let's make it NINE months."
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| Posted by Ivan Borka on 09-Aug-2005 | Doctors visitTwo old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?"
So the doctor says it again.
Once again the old man says, "what?"
So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"
With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
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| Posted by Patrick Worthington on 09-Aug-2005 | Fatty and SkinnyFatty and Skinny went to bed,
Fatty rolled over.
Now Skinny is dead!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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