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| Posted by Mathman2 on 09-Aug-2005 | Say Your PrayersOne night, a father overheard his son saying his prayers, "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
The father thought this was strange, but soon forgot about it.
The next day, the Grandfather died.
About a month or so later, the father again overheard his son's prayers, "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day, the Grandmother died.
The father began to worry about the situation.
Two weeks later, the father again heard his son praying, "God bless Mommy. Goodbye Daddy."
This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack.
The next morning, without saying anything, he got up early and went to work.
He stayed in his office all day. Finally, after midnight, he went home.
He was still alive!
He crawled into bed with his wife and apologized, "I'm sorry honey, I had a really bad day."
"You had a bad day?" his wife yelled. "The mailman dropped dead on the porch this morning!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Mike smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Rubbing for a wishA few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning,
"Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Gus Scoom on 09-Aug-2005 | Slow copA woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 year old son.
She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.
After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit.
Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.
She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car.
Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by The Breather on 09-Aug-2005 | Indian namesAn Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face and asks, "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?"
She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"
She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"
The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."
The mother paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by mark m. miller on 09-Aug-2005 | The callA manager in a big company needed to contact one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered voice on the first ring.
"Hello?"
"Is your Daddy home?" the boss quickly asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked, feeling somewhat put-off by this delay.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
"Son, is there any one there besides you?" the boss impatiently asked the child.
"Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper." answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed voice the child answered, "The police just landed the hello-copper!"
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?"
After a muffled giggle, the young voice replied in a very low whisper, "They're looking for me!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Joslyn L. Wick on 09-Aug-2005 | Ding dongA man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
The boy replies, "Now we run!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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