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():nerd jokes (650): Scientific Observation


Posted by halfback15 on 13-Aug-2005

Scientific Observation

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist says: "The measurement wasn't accurate."

The Biologist concludes: "They have reproduced."

The Mathematician says: "Now if another person enters the house, it'll be empty again."


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Damn smokers


Posted by Jody R. wood on 13-Aug-2005

Damn smokers

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look" she said. "What's your secret for a long and happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day." he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing." the woman said. "How old are you?" "Twenty-six." he said.


   

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():nerd jokes (650): De Cock Fight


Posted by Edward Haskett on 13-Aug-2005

De Cock Fight

The South Carolina State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held out in the parish near Goose Creek, and duly dispatched Detective Thibideaux to investigate. Thibideaux reported to his sergeant the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin," Thibideaux began.

"Good work Thibideaux! Who dey be?" the sergeant asked. Thibideaux replied confidently, "De Polacks, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How you find dat out in one night?"

"Well," said Thibideaux, "I went down and done seed dat cock fight,I knowed de Polacks was involved whan a duck was entered in de fight."

The sergeant nodded. "Oh yeah, l see dat, but what 'bout de others?"

Thibideaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved whan sumbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant. "Dat be making some sense. How you deduce dat de mafia be involved?"

"De duck, he won."


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Can I Take His Place?


Posted by Emily P. Giles on 13-Aug-2005

Can I Take His Place?

An atoorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of the upmost urgency.

An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor

Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney "and I want to take his place"

The governor replied; "Well it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Wishes in the Desert


Posted by johnny g on 13-Aug-2005
Wishes in the Desert
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.

The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Idiot Chicken Farmer


Posted by Lady Love on 13-Aug-2005
Idiot Chicken Farmer
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.

A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.

Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,

"I think I'm planting them too deep."



   

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