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| Posted by Cameron on 09-Aug-2005 | Sent to Your Room"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.
"I send him to our room!"
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| Posted by Paul R. Flanigan on 09-Aug-2005 | Distructive FartThere was 3 people in an airplane : a librarian a teacher and an army guy.
The librarian said "I always wanted to throw a book out the window". So she did.
The teacher said "I always wanted to throw an apple out the window". With that she did.
The army guy said "well since they are I might as well throw a bomb out the window". And he did.
The plane lands and they go walking and they see this boy crying. The librarian asks why he is crying.
"I was walking and a book hit me on the head", said the boy.
They walk a little further and they see this girl crying. They ask why she is crying and say says "I was walking and all of the sudden an apple hit me on the head!"
They continue walking and a little further and they see a boy rolling on the ground laughing.
"Why are you laughing?", they ask.
The little boy says "I was walking and when I farted the building over there behind me blew up!"
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| Posted by Ziggy2002 on 09-Aug-2005 | You WHATA kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" She asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT ?!" The teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
Submitted by Jasmine
Editted by Calamjo and Curtis
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| Posted by net master on 09-Aug-2005 | Building site helperA young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house there. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them rough diamond types, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ??5. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the clerk was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own wage packet at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a crew building a house."
"My goodness gracious," said the clerk, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those useless bastards at B & Q ever bring us the f*cking plasterboard!"
Submitted by Gravedigger
Editted by Curtis
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| Posted by Lance J. Gerner on 09-Aug-2005 | Bed WetterI made myself a snowball
As perfect as can be.
I thought I'd make a pet of it
and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
and a pillow for its head,
Then last night it ran away,
But first..... it wet the bed!
Editted by Curtis and Murillos
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| Posted by Joshua on 09-Aug-2005 | Lost boyA small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".
Submitted by Curtis
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