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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said,

'Watson, look up. What do you see?'

'Well, I see thousands of stars.'

'And what does that mean to you?'

'Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?'

'To me, it means someone has stolen our tent.'

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	():nerd jokes (650): What is...

Posted by amy on 12-Aug-2005

What is...

what is black and white and red all the time?

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	():nerd jokes (650): Wedding Jitters

Posted by David Welch on 13-Aug-2005

Wedding Jitters

A friend of mine in Florida is getting married in June, and it seems like he's already getting a bit nervous about it.

The anxious bride-groom sent out announcements in February, carefully addressing all of the announcements by hand. Within a few days, he was surprised to see them all show up in *his* mailbox.

It seems the poor nervous guy had addressed every invitation with his own address... and put the recipient's name and address where the return address should go.

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	():nerd jokes (650): Protozoa are small, and bacteria are small,...

Posted by Martin Lynch on 07-Aug-2005

Protozoa are small, and bacteria are small,...

Protozoa are small, and bacteria are small, but viruses are smaller than the both of 'em put together.

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	():nerd jokes (650): STUPID

Posted by Stefanie D. Fischer on 13-Aug-2005

STUPID

YOUR SO STUPID YOU GOT STABBED IN A SHOOT OUT

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	():nerd jokes (650): The Pheasant and the Bull

Posted by Tisch T. B on 13-Aug-2005

The Pheasant and the Bull

A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree', sighed the pheasant, 'but I haven't got the energy'.

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients'.

The pheasant pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. And so on.

Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the pheasant right out of the tree.

The Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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