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| Posted by Cameron Rivard on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on a scientist's door:Sign on a scientist's door: "Gone fission."
Sign in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign in a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
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| Posted by meryl m. clewett on 09-Aug-2005 | Here is a great signHere is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for 1.00$.(limit 4)"
On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
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| Posted by Stefani R. Richards on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Rhodes tailorSign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."
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| Posted by Sarah Anne on 09-Aug-2005 | At a number of militaryAt a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
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| Posted by jarmo two on 09-Aug-2005 | Two signs found on topTwo signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.
Seen in a health food store. "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot"
"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."
I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
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| Posted by Laura Seeley on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on a repair shopSign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
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| Posted by c?©line rioux on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on the wall ofSign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"
An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
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| Posted by Totally Clueless on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign from a translated sentenceSign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
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| Posted by brian brams on 09-Aug-2005 | Found written on the wallFound written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : " DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS "
At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: "Belt your family. It's the law."
Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: "Broken English spoken perfectly"
At an Applebee's restaraunt: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"
Fitness Center sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts."
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| Posted by Katie F. on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on the door ofSign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
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| Posted by Cowardly Lion on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Tokyo Hotel:Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
Sign on a Norfolk farm: "Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left."
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| Posted by Shadow Rat on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome.Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Sign in a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."
Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
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| Posted by Simon Peeters on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in school: "In caseSign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."
Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!"
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!"
Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator."
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| Posted by Glor on 09-Aug-2005 | In front of a NewIn front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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| Posted by Russ on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Tokyo shop:Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
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| Posted by lilgreen on 09-Aug-2005 | At my University's Student centerAt my University's Student center Bathrooms: "If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police."
In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey "Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance."
Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.
A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."
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| Posted by Cyberventurer on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in an Acapulco Hotel:Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Sign in an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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| Posted by Basketball Babe on 09-Aug-2005 | While stopped at an intersectionWhile stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a ign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a bove him read "Now hiring."
At an office: "This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have recieved raises, bonses and promotions."
SEEN ON A BILLBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY: "Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education."
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| Posted by Savannah S. David on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Soft & Genital Bath Tissues Or Facial Tissue
89 Cents
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| Posted by HOMER J. SIMPSON on 07-Aug-2005 | Seen on a hypochondriac's tombstone:...Seen on a hypochondriac's tombstone:
"I told you I was sick."
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| Posted by Elby on 07-Aug-2005 | In an East African newspaper:...In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
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| Posted by p.l. on 07-Aug-2005 | Seen on a virgin's tombstone:...Seen on a virgin's tombstone:
"Returned To Sender Unopened"
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| Posted by Boogyman J. Boogster on 07-Aug-2005 | In a New York medical building:...In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
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| Posted by Ziggy2002 on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:...In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
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| Posted by LiL anGeL on 07-Aug-2005 | In an ad for a swimwear store:...In an ad for a swimwear store:
"Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!"
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| Posted by Jennifer l. Meisel on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Zurich hotel:...In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.
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| Posted by Charles Jupe on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Found: Dirty White Dog
Looks Like A Rat.
Been Out Awhile..
Better Be Reward
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| Posted by Lisa M. Funkychicken on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Wedding Gown For Sale
Only Worn Once, By Mistake
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| Posted by Jeff R. Janney on 07-Aug-2005 | A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:...A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on
our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.
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| Posted by Renee Schwartz on 07-Aug-2005 | On a roller coaster:...On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."
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