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| Posted by Tim Whittenberger on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on music teachers' door:Sign on music teachers' door: "Out Chopin."
Sign at the electic company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
Sign in beauty shop window: "Dye now!"
Sign on a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
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| Posted by Robert L. Blake on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:...In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city
tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
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| Posted by Rarkl on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a restaurant window:Sign in a restaurant window: "T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12"
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special. Below it says: So's tomorrow."
Sign on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)."
Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Sign in a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
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| Posted by Max Lee on 07-Aug-2005 | On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong...On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.
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| Posted by J Harry on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign seen in London departmentSign seen in London department store: "Bargain Basement Upstairs"
Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: "Closed for official opening."
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."
Sign in a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
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| Posted by lauren h. houston on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Rhodes tailor shop:...In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we will execute customers in strict rotation.
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| Posted by Jason C. Johnson on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a science teacher'sSign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."
Sign in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."
Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
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| Posted by #1 BABE on 09-Aug-2005 | On a store front inOn a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."
Sign in a Laundromat AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
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| Posted by Marnie Richards on 07-Aug-2005 | "Frog parking only. All others will be toad....
"Frog parking only. All others will be toad."
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| Posted by Kylee Phillips on 09-Aug-2005 | Official sign near door: DoorOfficial sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): 'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'
A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let's see who can go downhill the fastest.
Sign in King's Canyon in California. 'Slow Parking Ahead'
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'
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| Posted by funnygirl on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign seen in London departmentSign seen in London department store: "Bargain Basement Upstairs"
Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: "Closed for official opening."
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."
Sign in a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
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| Posted by bob joe on 09-Aug-2005 | In a New York restaurant:In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
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| Posted by Fred L. Abney on 09-Aug-2005 | These are supposedly actual signsThese are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."
Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life."
Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: "Stop: Drive Sideways."
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| Posted by ana munoz on 09-Aug-2005 | Notice in a dry cleaner'sNotice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
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| Posted by Jude Hey on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Paris hotel elevator:...In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
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| Posted by Andrew B. Mclean on 07-Aug-2005 | Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of...Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
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| Posted by Uncle Sonny Humor on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Amana Washer $100.
Owned By Clean Bachelor Who Seldom Washed.
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| Posted by bugzaboo on 07-Aug-2005 | Outside a Church:...Outside a Church:
Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!
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| Posted by Erik Allermann on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:...In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
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| Posted by The Man on 07-Aug-2005 | On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:...On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.
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| Posted by Dan Becker on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Church parking lot:...In a Church parking lot:
Parking lot - for Members Only!
Trespassers will be baptized!
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| Posted by Nick G. Davis on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Yugoslavian hotel:...In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.
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| Posted by kAoS on 07-Aug-2005 | Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:...Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive Sideways.
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| Posted by jsw240 on 07-Aug-2005 | Outside a Church:...Outside a Church:
No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
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| Posted by spike d. fuspfi on 07-Aug-2005 | In Admire, Kansas:...In Admire, Kansas:
"Admire Interchange"
Wow, that's some interchange!
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| Posted by Matt J. Mullen on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Tired Of Working For Only $9.75 Per Hour?
We Offer Profit Sharing And Flexible Hours.
Starting Pay: $7 - $9 Per Hour
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| Posted by John D on 09-Aug-2005 | In a Tacoma, Washington men'sIn a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
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