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| Posted by IOVANA BRITO on 09-Aug-2005 | Signs you've had too much holiday cheer1. You strike a match and light your nose.
2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
6. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
10. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
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| Posted by Dakota K. Johnson on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!
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| Posted by Kyle W. Battalia on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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| Posted by Gledson Bernardelli Pereira on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.
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| Posted by Salma DeLuna on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.
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| Posted by Warlock Z on 09-Aug-2005 | The very different childrenTwo ten-year-old children were exactly opposites: Bill was a die-hard optimist, and Bob a hopeless pessimist.
The mom asked the psychiatrist what to do about Christmas. The doctor told her to buy all the toys she could for Bob and get Bill nothing. In fact, he said just to wrap up some manure for Bill to break down his hopes even more.
Christmas morning, Mom came downstairs and found the twins by the tree. She asked Bob what Santa had brought him.
"A B.B. gun, but I'll probably hit someone in the eye and blind him. And a bicycle, but I'll probably get run over and killed while riding it. And an electric train, but I'll probably electrocute myself," said Bob.
Realizing it wasn't going very well, the mom turned to Bill and asked what he got. "I'm not sure!!" he replied, "I think I got a pony, but I haven't been able to find him yet!!"
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