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| Posted by Save D. Last Dance on 09-Aug-2005 | SissyOne summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Siemen on 09-Aug-2005 | Getting into heavenAn exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Christopher E. Draughn on 09-Aug-2005 | Animal GameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe.
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.
"See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra.
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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| Posted by Evan Lemoine on 09-Aug-2005 | The SumA little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and asked, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Sean h. Curry on 09-Aug-2005 | TroubleAn eight year old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks."
"What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked.
"Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo,Tantilazing and yisman
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| Posted by Oldmanshiver on 09-Aug-2005 | PoohQ: What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
A: "Show me the honey!"
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo, Tantilazing and yisman
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