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| Posted by mandy on 13-Aug-2005 | Six nasty poemsPOEM # 1
Roses are red, pickles are green
I love your legs and whats between
POEM # 2
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass
POEM # 3
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
kissing is a sport
fucking is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain
POEM # 4
The guy says i love you
you believe its true
9 months later,
he says the hell with you
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
all this wouldnt have happened
if the rubber wouldnt have torn
POEM # 5
Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration
POEM # 6
Roses are red,
Violets are corney,
When i think of you
Ohh baby i get horney,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue
and make it nasty!!!!
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| Posted by Kenny S. Goff on 10-Aug-2005 | Pay AttentionA small bottle containing urine sat upon the desk of Sir William Osler, the
eminent professor of medicine at Oxford University. Sitting before him was a
class full of young, wide-eyed medical students, listening to his lecture on the
importance of observing details. To emphasise his point, Sir Osler announced,
"This bottle contains a sample for analysis. It's often possible by tasting it
to determine the disease from which the patient suffers."
He then dipped a finger into the fluid and brought it into his mouth. He
continued speaking, "Now I am going to pass the bottle around. Each of you
please do exactly as I did. Perhaps we can learn the importance of this
techinque and diagnose the case."
The bottle madeit's way from row to row, each student gingerly poking his
finger in and bravely sampling the contents with a frown.
Dr. Osler then retrieved the bottle and startled his students by saying,
"Gentlemen, now you will understand what I mean when I speak about details. Had
you been observant, you would have seen that I put my INDEX FINGER in the bottle
but my MIDDLE FINGER into my mouth!"
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| Posted by Justin E. Danon on 09-Aug-2005 | Ways to confuse a roommateThese are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
68. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.
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():school humor (1428): The Top 15 Signs You Won't Be Giving a Commencement Speech |
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| Posted by Daniel J. Gatsch on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 15 Signs You Won't Be Giving a Commencement Speech
15> Every time you get close to a microphone, your Ethel Merman compulsion takes over.
14> "That's my monthly Vegas weekend. Can you move the ceremony to Monday?"
13> Even a graduation gown won't hide that ankle bracelet.
12> A great Jedi you may be. A great orator not are you!
11> You are, most unfortunately, too engrossed with unraveling the Chicken of the Sea Paradox to impart your wisdom to appetent youth.
10> "What Would Omarosa Do?" is not a hot topic right now.
9> Working the graveyard shift at the convenience store, you generally don't wake up until late afternoon.
8> You are in the middle of a very important court case. Also, you live with a chimp.
7> You were class valedictorian, only without the "vale" or the "torian."
6> Your crowning achievement is membership in ClubTop5.
5> Not only are you a proud C student, but three years in, you still pronounce it "nook-culer."
4> The only thing you're about to commence is 25-to-life.
3> You can't even look at tassels without waving a folded-up dollar bill in the air.
2> No shirt, no shoes, no speech.
1> Your highest "degree" is an honorary mail-order GED.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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| Posted by Doran m. Langley on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun things to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
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| Posted by Bob Matthews on 11-Aug-2005 | Cat Joke(sort of)Read each line ALOUD:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is about cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.
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