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| Posted by cory on 14-Aug-2005 | SkydivingA blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were
all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to
jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and
grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival
on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, that's the easy part. It's when the
dog's leash goes slack."
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| Posted by Notum on 14-Aug-2005 | The Bad ParrotOnce there was this old man who was lonely. So he went to the
pet store to get a dog. But they were out of dogs and wern't
going to get any more until the next millnium! So the man got a
parrot. But the store owner worrined him. "The first 3 phrases
he hears and likes he will remember."
The man brought the parrot home and some boys were climbing in
the old man's tree. "Get down from there or I'll call the
police." said the old man. The kids said"Baloney, baloney,
baloney." and the parrot repeated it.
The next day the old man tok his parrot rock climbing. Someone's
climbing partner fell into a hole and he yelled "get a rope pull
him up" and the parrot repeated it.
The next day the old man brought the parrot to a carnival. The
parrot heard someone yell, "Hit the black doll and win a prize."
and the parrot repeated it.
The next day was Sunday and the man brought the parrot to
church. The preacher began his preaching. "God lives up there."
"Baloney, baloney, baloney" yelled the parrot. The preacher
looked at him but continued. "The devil lives down there." And
the parrot yelled "Get a rope pull him up." The preacher through
the Bible at the parrot but it hit a nun and the parrot yelled
"Hit a black doll and win a prize."
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| Posted by Dinesh SJ on 13-Aug-2005 | Peguines at the beachSo, two peguins went to the beach...and one says,"Hey, you wanna go swimming?" and the other one says,"What do I look like...A COW?!"
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| Posted by Krazy Kin Kid on 14-Aug-2005 | Dog with no nose.Lindsey:Are dog has no nose
Susie:Poor Dog,How does he smell
Lindsey:Awww,Terrible.
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| Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 10-Aug-2005 | With a monkey wrench!Q: How do you fix a broken chimp?
A: With a monkey wrench!
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| Posted by KateMaMate on 14-Aug-2005 | X-rated parrotA woman had a female parrot which kept saying, 'Hello, I am very horney.
Do you want to have some fun?' She was frantic, so she went to her Pastor
to find a solution to the problem. The Pastor said, 'Bring your bird to my
house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time.
They will be a good influence on her.' So, the woman brought the parrot to
his house and put her parrot into the cage with the two male birds. She
squawked, 'Hello, I am very horney. Do you want to have some fun?' One
male parrot looked at the other one and said, 'Put away the Bible, Fred,
our prayers have been answered.'
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