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| Posted by K. Caplan on 09-Aug-2005 | Small headA guy walks into a bar and sees a man sitting at the end with the smallest head he's ever seen. In fact, it is only about two inches high.
So, he sits down next to him and asks, "How is that you have such a small head?"
The man replies, "Well you see, I was stranded on a deserted island and was combing the beach, when I came across an ornate bottle. When I opened it to see what was inside, a beautiful genie appeared and told me that I would be granted three wishes. My first wish was for a luxurious boat to take me home."
The man continues, "A large yacht appeared just off shore. Then for my second wish, I asked to be wealthy, so I would want for nothing when I got home."
The man goes on, "After a large pile of gold coins appeared on the deck of the yacht, I asked to make passionate love to the genie for my third wish. The genie told me that she could not do that, so I asked, 'How about a little head?'"
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| Posted by BlanaPirahna on 09-Aug-2005 | HeartburnA lady stumbles into a bar. She says, "Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it."
He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because..because I've got heartburn."
The bartender says, "Look, lady... it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dribble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, "You have your left breast in the Ashtray!"
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| Posted by Vince Joebob on 09-Aug-2005 | Two dwarfsTwo dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"
"I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed!!!"
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| Posted by Jay Macdonald on 13-Aug-2005 | FishSmells like fish,taste like chicken,plug your nose and keep on licking.
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| Posted by ruchi on 13-Aug-2005 | Small HeadA guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. He happens to look down the bar and sees a man with a head the size of a cue ball sitting there, so he walks down and says to the man, "Excuse me, sir, I don?t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?"
The man says, "No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship, so I swam to shore."
"Then one day, a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."
"What she'd say," the curious stranger asked.
"She said, "I can't grant that wish, because mermaids can't have sex.'"
"So," continued the old man with a dejected look on his face, "I said, 'How about a little head?'"
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