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| Posted by dirtmotox yzlife on 14-Aug-2005 | Smart Rednecks in Taxi RideFive young men from the country were new to big city travel, but they'd
always heard how important it is to stand up for themselves when dealing
with cab drivers. They stopped a taxi driver, asking him to take them to
airport.
All along the way they kept threatening the driver, saying, "We're smart,
mister! Don't take the longest way to airport or we'll know!" They
continued to pester him, saying, "We will not pay you anything if you
cheat us, mister, so you'd better be straight with us."
When they finally arrived at the airport, the driver wanted to avoid
having a hassle with the passengers. Just to be sure he didn't have any
trouble collecting, he planned on reducing the fare by one-half of his
normal trip rate. He'd already had a long day, and didn't need the problem.
As the car finally came to a stop after a twenty minute drive to the
airport, the driver said, "O.K. We've arrived at the airport, and..."
"What's your fare, mister?!" the leader interrupted the driver rudely.
"And remember we are smart about you guys," he reminded the driver one
more time.
"To show you guys how great I am to visitors of our fine city, I am going
to charge you only $10. Normally, I'd charge at least $20.00 for your
trip. Please pay that and we'll be square."
"O.K.," they replied.
One passenger to the other said, "We sure showed him, didn't we?" as they
paid the driver $10.00 each.
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| Posted by Cameron Gaut on 14-Aug-2005 | KissameAman and his wife were driving their car across the country and were
nearing a town in Florida spelled Kissame. They noted the strange spelling
and tried to figure out how to pronounce it. So they went to a fast food
place and orderd two hamburgers, and the wife asked, "What is the name of
this place? And say it very slowly so I can understand it?" The casheer
replied, "Buuuuuurrrrrrrrggggeeerrrrr Kiiiiinnnnnnggggggg."
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| Posted by Rubester on 14-Aug-2005 | Put Your Jacket on BackwardsTwo bikers were riding down a country road on a Harley. The driver's
leather jacket wouldn't stay closed because the zipper had broken, so he
pulled over. "Just put your jacket on backwards," his buddy suggested.
Then they zoomed off down the road, until they hit a curve at high speed
and crashed. A farmer found them and called the police.
"Is either of them showing any sign of life?" asked the officer.
"Well, the first one was" replied the farmer, "until I turned his head
around the right way."
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| Posted by MOS on 14-Aug-2005 | TupeeAn airstewardess was attending to passengers on an aircraft one day when a
lady approached her looking very angry.
"Excuse me," said the lady, "but I would like to make a complaint!"
"Yes maam?" the stewardess replied.
"I was taking a nap just now when i felt somebody tugging at my panties
and touching my pussy. Tried as i might but I still couldn't find the
culprit !".
The stewardess thought that the lady was trying to play a prank and didn't
take her seriously. Nevertheless, she told the lady that she would look
into the matter straight away.
As she continued serving the passengers, another woman approached her with
the same story. Perplexed, she decided to investigate.
While making her way to the back of the aircraft, she chanced upon an old
man crawling on the floor as though searching for something.
"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?", she said.
" Yes please, my dear lady", he replied. "You see, I am blind, and as luck
would have it, I seemed to have lost my tupee. Could you help me find it?"
"What kind of a tupee, sir?"
"Well, it's kind of small and parted at the side. Twice I thought I had
found it but those were parted at the center."
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| Posted by Mulder lover (I'm Scully) on 14-Aug-2005 | What time is it?A couple was on vacation when they realized they had left their watches at
the hotel. They saw a man resting with his donkey and asked him if he knew
what time it was. The man looked up and grabbed the donkeys balls, lifted
them up and said, "Well it looks like it's 2:10 in the afternoon." The
couple amazed at the mans ability to tell time by lifting the donkeys
balls, asked, "How can you tell time by lifting the donkeys balls?" The
man said, "It's very easy, first you lift the donkeys balls like this," he
then lifted them as the couple watched. "O.K" The man said, "Now you can
see the clock on the wall over there."
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| Posted by Salman S. Dossa on 14-Aug-2005 | Hungry?There were two guys who needed a place to stay, so they came to
a farmer's house. The farmer agreed to let them stay as long as
they didn't eat his vegetables and fruits. During the night, the
men got hungry and decided to sneak out anyway and get a bite to
eat from his garden. In the morning, the farmer knew what they
had done.
"I'll punish you," he promised. "Now, both of you go get
one hundred of your favorite fruit or vegetable out of the
garden and then come back." One of the men came back first, and
he had picked one hundred grapes. Then the farmer told him,"OK,
now shove one up your nose." The man did. "Now another." The man
started to protest, but the farmer pulled out a gun. "Put it
up!!" shouted the farmer. The man did, and then chuckled to
himself. "ANOTHER!" the man chuckled, and then did again. After
about five miniutes of this, the farmer had it. "Why are you
laughing?" he asked. The guy replied, "Man, my buddy's out there
picking watermelons!"
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