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():funny quotes (263): "Some people say that I must be a horrible... |
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| Posted by Moosen on 14-Aug-2005 | Life's LessonsMoney doesn't bring you happiness,
but it enables you to look for it in more places.
Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong,
but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.
Misers aren't much fun to live with,
but they make great ancestors.
Be careful what rut you choose.
You may be in it the rest of your life.
The trouble with bucket seats is that
not everybody has the same size bucket.
When you see the handwriting on the wall,
you can bet you're in a public rest room.
Opportunities always look bigger
going than coming.
The real reason you can't take it with you
is that it goes before you do.
Junk is something you throw away
three weeks before you need it.
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home,
even if you wish they were.
A closed mouth
gathers no feet.
A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong
has found someone to blame it on.
A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday
with a television on the blink.
The world is full of willing people:
some willing to work and some willing to let them.
Money isn't everything...
there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
Some people are like blisters.
They don't show up until the work is done.
A true friend is one that lets his grass grow
as tall as his neighbor's.
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult
while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
If you don't know where you're going,
you're never lost.
Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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():funny quotes (263): "Everything worthwhile has already been invented.... |
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| Posted by Rick Martin on 07-Aug-2005 | "Everything worthwhile has already been invented...."Everything worthwhile has already been invented."
- director of the US Patent Office, 1899.
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| Posted by GrLuLoVe To HaTe on 14-Aug-2005 | Another Batch!"Sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy."
"I gave my cat a bath the other day...He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was
fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..."
"What? You been keeping records on me? I wasn't so bad! How many times did
I take the Lord's name in vain? One million and six? Jesus Ch---"
"In French, oeuf means egg, cheese is fromage...it's like those French
have a different word for everything."
"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can
look up her dress."
"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was...an
arctic region covered with ice."
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():funny quotes (263): "My mother never saw the irony in calling... |
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| Posted by Vanessa E. Saunders on 07-Aug-2005 | "My mother never saw the irony in calling..."My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
- Jack Nicholson
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