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| Posted by Sara Beth on 08-Aug-2005 | Stay in this circleA woman driver bumped into a guy's car and did a fair amount of damage. The male driver asked why she did it, and she replied, "Because I wanted to. That's all the reason I need."
Then the driver said, "You ignorant bitch! Stand in this circle and don't move, then I will mess up your car to teach you a lesson!"
He started by hitting it with a bat, but the blonde started laughing, so the driver turned around, and she stopped laughing.
Then he started ripping up the seat, and again she started laughing, so he turned around, at which point the blonde stopped laughing again.
Then he started messing up the whole car then she started laughing again, so the driver finally asked her why she was laughing and she said, "Well every time you had your back turned I stepped ouy of the circle, so there!"
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| Posted by Nuttygryl on 09-Aug-2005 | "Time is"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!"
"According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."
"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"
Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."
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| Posted by scotty on 09-Aug-2005 | A cubicleA cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
I'm just driving this way to get you mad.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
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| Posted by Sonya M. Hamilton on 09-Aug-2005 | If youIf you are psychic - think "HONK"
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
Grow your own dope, plant a man.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
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| Posted by Jamaahl Boxx on 09-Aug-2005 | Death isDeath is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It works better if you plug it in.
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| Posted by Stinky Balboa on 09-Aug-2005 | Stop repeatStop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
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