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Steak 'n Eggs

There was this fried egg walking down the street in Havana

minding its own business. It hears some noise behind it,

turns around, and sees a crowd of hungry Cubans in the

distance bearing down on it.

It runs away as fast as its little fried egg legs will

go, when it sees a steak. It yells to the steak, "Run

away! Run away! They'll get you too!" but the steak just

laughs and says, "Shit, they won't even recognize me!"

3 people have rated this joke:

10.0/10


	():food jokes (113): Food one-liner

Posted by Jade Cat on 09-Aug-2005

Food one-liner

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

1 people have rated this joke:

9.00/10


	():food jokes (113): Airline Food

Posted by Sara Siddiq on 13-Aug-2005

Airline Food

It was mealtime during a trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in coach.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

2 people have rated this joke:

8.00/10


	():food jokes (113): Thin People Don't

Posted by txbaby on 09-Aug-2005

Thin People Don't

By Barbara Florio Graham
From McCall's, June, 1983

I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I've found The Answer. After living for almost 14 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what I serve him, I've found out what it is that keeps him thin: He thinks differently. The real difference between fat and thin people is that thin people:

avoid eating popcorn in the movies because it gets their hands greasy;

split a large combination pizza with three friends;

think Oreo cookies are for kids;

nibble cashews one at a time;

think that doughnuts are indigestible;

read books they have to hold with both hands;

become so absorbed in a weekend project they forget to have lunch;

fill the candy dish on their desks with paper clips;

counteract the midafternoon slump with a nap instead of a cinnamon Danish;

exchange the deep-fryer they received for Christmas for a clock-radio;

lose their appetites when they're depressed;

think chocolate Easter bunnies are for kids;

save leftovers that are too skimpy to use for another meal in order to make interesting soups;

throw out stale potato chips;

will eat only Swiss or Dutch chocolate, which cannot be found except in a special store;

think it's too much trouble to stop at a special store just to buy chocolate;

don't celebrate with a hot-fudge sundae every time they lose a pound;

warm up after skiing with black coffee instead of hot chocolate and whipped cream;

try all the salads at the buffet, leaving room for only one dessert;

find iced tea more refreshing than an ice-cream soda;

get into such interesting conversations at cocktail parties that they never quite work their way over to the hors-d'oeuvre table;

have no compulsion to keep the candy dish symmetrical by reducing the jelly beans to an equal number of each color;

think that topping brownies with ice cream makes too rich a dessert;

bring four cookies into the TV room instead of a box;

think banana splits are for kids.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

2 people have rated this joke:

7.50/10


	():food jokes (113): Fruit

Posted by K9mom on 08-Aug-2005

Fruit

whats yellow and grows on apple trees?

A stupid bananna

3 people have rated this joke:

7.33/10


	():food jokes (113): Knife and falk

Posted by Chris L. Johnson on 11-Aug-2005

Knife and falk

An italian walks into a hotel in malta and finds he has no sheet on his bed so he tells the owner" i want a shite on my bed " the owner says you had better shit on the bed.

2 people have rated this joke:

7.00/10