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| Posted by Cameron Rivard on 10-Aug-2005 | Stupid TylerOne day a girl came home with 50 dollars and her mother asked where she got
it. The girl said, Two men where at school and they told me that they would pay
me 50 dollars if I climb the flag pole. So the mother said Honey dont do that
they Are just trying to look at your underwear. The next day she came back with
100 dollars. So she said where and it was the same thing. So the mothet said not
to. The next day she came home with 500 dollars. And she asked where she got it
and it was the same. She said Honey I told not to the times. But the girl said
"Mommy I was smart I didn't wear any underwear."
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| Posted by Acidman J on 13-Aug-2005 | Why is louise stupid?because she has ginger hair!!!
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| Posted by Kyra S. Travis on 13-Aug-2005 | Ponderables
- A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
- George Washington grew marijuana in his garden.
- Some insects can live up to a year without their heads.
- Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
- A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
- A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
- 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
- On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
- John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
- Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
- Most lipstick contains fish scales.
- Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
- Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
- Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors, also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
- Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to SLOW a film down so you could see his moves.
- Casey Kasem is the voice of Shaggy on Scooby-Doo.
- An elephant can smell water three miles away.
- Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
- Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool! He changed it every 2 innings.
- Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
- A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
- Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton. Before the 1950's it was made from hemp-the stem and leaves of a marijuana plant.
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| Posted by andrew j. gregg on 13-Aug-2005 | Peas will Kill You* Nearly ALL sick people have eaten PEAS (obviously then, the effects are cumulative).
* An estimated 99.9% of all people who die from cancer or heart attacks have eaten PEAS.
* Another 99.9% of people involved in auto accidents ate PEAS within 60-days before the accident.
* Some 93.1% of juvenile delinquents come from homes where PEAS were served frequently.
* Among people born in 1839 who later dined on PEAS, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
* All PEA-eaters born between 1900-1910 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones and failing eyesight (provided, of course, that eating PEAS hasn't already *killed* them).
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| Posted by Michael Jackson on 14-Aug-2005 | Telepathic WatchA rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
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| Posted by house b. big on 10-Aug-2005 | A Beard?A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave
his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your
handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would
kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night
James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh Michael, you
shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
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