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| Posted by Alison Barnes on 14-Aug-2005 | SuperstitionsTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by John Doe on 12-Aug-2005 | Bad BreathYou're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toilepaper!
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20 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 14-Aug-2005 | Shop Keeper!one day, a man wanted to apply for being a shopkeeper in a
grocery store. So he then walked in to the shop and said," umm,
i want to be a shopkeeper." Then the manager said,"u any good?"
there was silence for a moment so then the manager takes the man
and shows him around and sez," O.K., we will start with a simple
question of a fine product of ours , OK?" and the man said OK.
So, the man pretended as a customer and asked," how much for
this pencil?" the man said," i dunno?" the manager got fustrated
and said, no u idiot! you are supposed to say 25cents! ok? he
said," yah". So he repeated the same thing and the manager was
pleased.Then he asked," how good is it?" the stupid man said,"
Beats me!" and so the manager said," no u moron!" it is best u
can get!!!" so the man said ok. he repeated himself again and
said," So should i buy it?" the man said," how am i supposed to
no!" the manager got fustrated and said," u are supposed to say
u better or someone else will!" so he said ok
The manager was satified so the stupid man was hired. A
bad ass punk walked in and said ," how old u kid?" he said
25cents! then the punk said," are u nuts?" the man said," best u
can get!" the punk then said," my GOSH!, want me to punch u in
the balls?" The stupid man replied with his last words as a
man," u better or someone else will!!!"
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jenna L. Reed on 07-Aug-2005 | A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender,...A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?"
The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's
for this little guy here," and he pulls a 3 inch man out of
his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the
little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender.
"What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down
to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The
little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter.
Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in
total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does
he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about
that time we were in Africa hunting and you called that witch
doctor a Nigger!"
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Andrew Bruno on 08-Aug-2005 | knock knock jokesknock knock
who's there
interupting moo cow
interupting moooooooooo
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2 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Yvette C on 09-Aug-2005 | Exam worriesA young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false - type statements.
The student takes a seat in the hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet.
Heads means true, tails means false.
The young student is all done in 20 minutes while the rest of the class is sweating it out.
But, suddenly during the last few minutes, the young student is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The teacher, alarmed, approaches the student and asks what is going on.
'Well I finished the exam in half an hour,' says the student, 'but I thought I ought to recheck my answers.'
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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