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| Posted by ??? on 12-Aug-2005 | Talking muffinTheir were two muffins in an oven.One muffin says, Boy its getting hot in here. The other muffin says AAAAAAGH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!
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| Posted by Damian Pacecca on 12-Aug-2005 | The Frog And The LoanA frog walks into a bank. He sees that the person at the front desk\'s name is Patty Whack. The frog says \" Patty Whack, I want to take out a loan for $30,000.\" Patty Whack says \" What makes you think you can take that much money?\" The frog says \" My dad, Mick Jagger, knows the manager.\" And he takes out a little pink elephant(not real though) for collatoral. Patty Whack takes it to the manager and says \"What is this?\" The manager then says \"Thats a knick-knack Patty Whack,give the frog his loan,his old-man\'s a rolling stone\"
(funny isn\'t it)
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| Posted by mas on 12-Aug-2005 | LibraianAt 3:00 am a librarian got a call from a person.
Person: Please come over and open the library quick!
Libraian: What? Why are you calling me at home and why do you want to get into the library so bad?
Person: Get in? No i want to get out!
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| Posted by Danny T. Hoberg on 12-Aug-2005 | Questions that have Confused humankind!!Questions that have Confused humankind!!
a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \"I think I\'ll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\"
a.. Who was the first person to say \"See that chicken there....I\'m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it\'s butt.\"
a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
a.. If the professor on Gilligan\'s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\'t he fix a hole in a boat?
a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don\'t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\'re both dogs!
a.. What do you call male ballerinas?
a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn\'t he just buy dinner?
a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
a.. Isn\'t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it\'s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it\'s in your ass?
a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog\'s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can\'t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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| Posted by Scott Day on 12-Aug-2005 | Lady nancy and churchhillLady Nancy Astor once got annoyed at Churchill.
\"Winston,\" she said sharply, \"if you were my husband I\'d put poison in your coffee.\"
\"And if I were your husband,\" responded Churchill, \"I\'d drink it.\"
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| Posted by Bob Nelson on 12-Aug-2005 | InsultsYou were one of the first to get a brain, before they were perfected.
But you did get a brain that day. The problem is that you should have asked for one to go.
You got your brain very early. Apparently the warranty has run out.
When they were handing out brains you arrived too late, all you got was a rain check.
They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.
When they were handing out brains, you were the first in the queue, and held the door open for the rest of us.
You didn\'t get a brain that day either. They were only handing them out to people who would use them
You got your brain first when they were handing them out in alphabetical order, A for \"Aardvark\"
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