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| Posted by Courtney A. Owen on 09-Aug-2005 | Taxman wins $1000The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet"
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!!
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The scrawny little man replied "I work for the IRS."
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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():bar jokes (2610): Yo mama so big that when she went bunji jumping... |
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| Posted by Hansen H. Lieu on 13-Aug-2005 | Yo mama so big that when she went bunji jumping...Yo mama so big that when she went bunji jumping with a yellow dress everybody thought the sun was falling.
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6 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jimmy White on 14-Aug-2005 | Which Bus?A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the
aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you.
"You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Dammmmmn, I'm on
the wrong bus!"
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Sarah A. Bauman on 14-Aug-2005 | DrunkThree guys are sitting in a bar, another guy walks in and points
to the guy in the middle and says, "Hey you! I just screwed your
mom and it was soooo great!" By then everyone was expecting a
fight. But the guy didn't do nothing. So the Drunk man goes and
sits in the other side of the bar.
15 minutes later he comes back and points at the same guy and
says, "I just had the sex with your mom, and it was SWEEET.."
Everyone was really expecting a fight this time, but then again
nothing happened and the Drunk man goes back to the other side
of the bar.
Then again another 15 min. pass and the guy comes back and says,
"I saw..." and the other man interuped him, turned to him and
says, "Dad, your drunk! Go Home!"
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by LeaveMeBe on 08-Aug-2005 | Four Gay men in a BarQ: Four gay men walk in a bar to
have beer they find only on chair. What do they do to all sit down?
A: They turn the chair upside down and sit on the legs.
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by i-HaVe PmS on 09-Aug-2005 | Hells Angel In BarThis really tough Hells-Angel type bursts into a bar and strides up to the middle of the bar. He orders a beer, gulps it down, turns to the people at the left end of the bar and growls "All you down there... You're all a bunch of queer cock suckers!" he gulps down a second beer and turns to the right side of the bar. "You're all a bunch of stupid mother fuckers."
All is still for a moment until a guy at the right end gets up. The Hells Angel says "Where the fuck you going?"
The guy says "I'm at the wrong end of the bar."
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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