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| Posted by Justin Collingwood on 09-Aug-2005 | Teacher jokeTeacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Eric Wellz on 09-Aug-2005 | BeautifulThe teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence.
Today's word is "beautiful". Little Sally, would you please come up here and use "beautiful" in a sentence?"
Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world."
Teacher says, "Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. Little Frankie, your turn."
Little Frankie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, the sunrise this morning was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen."
Teacher says, "Very good, Little Frankie, you may sit. Little Johnny, it's your turn."
Little Johnnie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, last night my big sister told my dad that she was pregnant and he said...
'Beautiful, just fuckin'BEAUTIFUL!'"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by K T. C on 09-Aug-2005 | WhorehouseA little boy hears the word "whorehouse" in school and asks his father what it means.
His father is quite shocked, and replies: "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time."
The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father insists that he's too young.
Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "Suzie's" to "have a good time," not knowing the little boy is following them.
After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the madame that he too wants to have a good time. She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady, she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.
Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried.
His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.
"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.
"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?"
"I managed the first two without any problem, but I just licked the last one."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Pretzelkin on 09-Aug-2005 | Frog noiseA sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No."
The little boy goes on, "Please...please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."
The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."
So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother 'no' and I'm telling you 'no'."
The little girl says, "Please...please Grandpa make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"
The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by DODGY DUDE on 09-Aug-2005 | Johnny married?Little Johnny is seven years old and is sitting at the dinner table with his parents.
Suddenly he announces, "Me and Janie are going to get married!"
"Oh?" Says the mother, "and how old is Janie?"
"Five," replies the boy.
"Well," says the father, "what are you going to do for money?"
"I get fifteen cents a week allowance," says Johnny, "and Janie gets ten cents. We figured if we put it together we would be okay."
"I see, "says the father. "But what are you going to do if you have children?"
"Well," says Johnny, "so far we have been lucky."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Kitty K. Kaos on 09-Aug-2005 | Watermelon patchThere was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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