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():holiday jokes (333): Ten things to say about gifts you don't like |
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| Posted by Iceman B. Kool on 09-Aug-2005 | Ten things to say about gifts you don't like10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be ashame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, well, well...
6. I really don't deserve this.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
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| Posted by wayne watson on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!
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| Posted by april pe on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
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| Posted by IOVANA BRITO on 09-Aug-2005 | Signs you've had too much holiday cheer1. You strike a match and light your nose.
2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
6. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
10. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
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| Posted by Dakota K. Johnson on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!
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| Posted by Kyle W. Battalia on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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