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| Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 09-Aug-2005 | The family of tomatoesA family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
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| Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma on 11-Aug-2005 | Fruit SaladThree guys who were lost at sea ended up landing on an unfamiliar island. After wandering around for a while, a group of natives picked them up and took them to their hut. The chief came up to them and said, "We will let you live, if you can go out into the jungle and bring me 10 pieces of fruit." So the men agree and take off. The first guy brings back 10 apples and places them before the chief. "Now, you must stick the apples up your ass and not show a bit of emotion, or else we will kill you." The guy got one, and on the second, he flinched and was killed. The second guy walks up and shows the chief 10 berries. He is given the same task and makes it up to 8 and then begins to laugh histerically. He is also killed. When the second guy gets to heaven and meets up with the first, the first asks him "You almost had it! Why did you laugh??" The second replies, "I couldnt help it. I got the 8th up there and saw the other guy walking up with pineapples."
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| Posted by Sara Bernabeo on 11-Aug-2005 | GrossOne day i was at the library and i was just standing there and hten i blew out thisbig wet juicy fart i was dripping down my legs then it started turning a green and yellow colour it looked good enough to eat so i whipped down my pants and started eating it it was like a taste of heaven some off you people out there with wet farts should try them some day i would also like to conclude.
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| Posted by funnygirl on 11-Aug-2005 | New comersTwo women from england moved to America. They decided that since it was a traditional American food they would try there first hot dog.They were talking about how mean it was to kill a helpless dog for food. So they went to a hot dog stand and bought the hot dogs. They found a park bench to sit on and eat there dogs. The first one opens hers and turns bright pink...
and says.....
"what part did you get?"
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| Posted by rick close on 11-Aug-2005 | Gold jokeFive men were selecter for a survey. They were taken away to a hotel called the goldings. There they found the place covered top to bottom in golden fittnigs and furnishings, the doors were gold , the floor was gold , the roof was gold , the stairs were gold .Every thing in the lobby was gold.
They were shown to there rooms by a maid , she had golden hair , golden dress , golden tights , golden shoes , golden piney and a golden hat. She shown each man in to his room.
The rooms were decorated in yet more gold. Golden beds , golden pillows , golden windows, golden toothbrushes , golden chocolates, golden soap, golden bathrobes, golden pictures .
They woke up that morning to have a bath in a golden bath with golden taps , golden mirrors , golden tiles and a golden toilet.
They were led to the golden diningroom via the golden staircase. The dining room was exquist. Golden walls , golden chairs, golden table goldrn knives and falks , golden spoons and a golden table cloth.
Theh golden maids came in and asked if they would like cerial or poridge for breakfast , while the men talked about how plush the place was.
The first man asked for poridge , as did the second third and forth , the fith asked for cerial.
and ladies and gentialmen this proves that 4 in 5 men prefur poridge!
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| Posted by Sabri Al-Safi on 11-Aug-2005 | No Tie - Oh WellTwo guys decide to go to a newer restaurant they had been hearing good things about.
Upon being greeted at the front door they were promptly informed that they would not be allowed to enter since neither of them had a tie on.
While walking back to the car the driver remembers that there was a tie he had left in the trunk some time back.
He opens the trunk and sure enough - He finds the tie, his friend says - Well - what about me?
While the first guy is putting his tie on, He jokes to the other - why not just wrap those jumper cables around your neck - and for whatever reason the second guy agrees.
They walk back in and the host says: "Alright guys - your catching me in a good mood, I'll go ahead and seat you - but you listen good.
You two better not start nothin!"
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