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| Posted by Lori M. C on 09-Aug-2005 | The football-playing turkeyThe pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
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| Posted by Natassia Hogenbirk on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
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| Posted by Joe Fallica on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.
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| Posted by Miss Khris on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!
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| Posted by Micah Bluming on 09-Aug-2005 | Question and answer Christmas jokeQ: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.
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| Posted by Kenny Ross on 09-Aug-2005 | The twelve days after ChristmasThe first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake and turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned.
The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree!"
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