|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Cameron d. Peckham on 08-Aug-2005 | The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot!A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "$50.00".
She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?"
"Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it."
How bad could it be?, the woman thought.
Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table.
The parrot looked around and said "Awk! New House, New Madam!"
"Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad."
Then the woman's two daughters came home from school.
"Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores!"
Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad either. Then the woman's husband came home from work.
"Awk!" The parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores, Same old faces! Hi George!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Laura L. Fretz on 08-Aug-2005 | Great DaneA man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks whos Great Dane is outside.
"Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him", she says.
"What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chiuahua", she says.
"How can a Chiuahua kill a Great Dane?"
"He got caught in his throat!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by imadumbass9889 on 08-Aug-2005 | The Panda BearA panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.
The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.
The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?"
The panda bear answers calmlly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up," and walks out the door.
The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear.
He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear--a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Brat Girl on 08-Aug-2005 | Stupid masterA gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, 'Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied, 'Oh, you are, Master.'
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied, 'You are, master.'
The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. 'Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, 'Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Michael Gailling on 08-Aug-2005 | New dog breedDid you here about the new dog breed of dog?
It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie.
First it bites off your leg, and then it runs for help.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Robert L. Gianferante on 08-Aug-2005 | Duck shopperA duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.
The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
