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| Posted by eric on 14-Aug-2005 | The Japenese and the AmericanAn American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA,
when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of '-ese'
are you?"
The Japanese, confused and replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of '-ese' are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of -ese are you? Are
you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc..."
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I'm a Japanese!".
A while later, the Japanese turned to the American and asked, "What kind
of '-key' are you?"
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What you mean what kind of '-key' I am?"
The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee?"
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| Posted by Da MaN D on 14-Aug-2005 | UngabungaThree guys get stranded on a island after crashing their boat
were captured by the native tribe. A man who appeared to be
their leader or chief approached the first guy and asked him
with his firm and manly voice, "Do you want death or Ungabunga?"
The man thought to himself for a minute and replied, "Well I
don't want to die, so I'll take Ungabunga," not knowing what
Ungabunga meant. The Leader announces to his people,
"Ungabunga!" Then all of a sudden hundreds of men start running
to the guy and start raping him, shouting, "Ungabunga!
Ungabunga! Ungabunga!"
The chief then goes to the second guy and says, "Do you want
death or Ungabunga?" The guy thinks to himself for a few minutes
and replies, "I don't want to die. I'll take Ungabunga."
"UngaBunga! Ungabunga! Ungabunga!" The Indians shouted as they
all raped him.
The Chief then goes to the third guy and says, "Do you want
death or Ungabunga?" The man replies, "I'd rather die than take
Ungabunga. I'll take death." The chief then climbs a rock where
he is visible to all the tribe members. "DEATH..............."
He shouts, "BY UNGABUNGA!!!"
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| Posted by dirtmotox yzlife on 14-Aug-2005 | Smart Rednecks in Taxi RideFive young men from the country were new to big city travel, but they'd
always heard how important it is to stand up for themselves when dealing
with cab drivers. They stopped a taxi driver, asking him to take them to
airport.
All along the way they kept threatening the driver, saying, "We're smart,
mister! Don't take the longest way to airport or we'll know!" They
continued to pester him, saying, "We will not pay you anything if you
cheat us, mister, so you'd better be straight with us."
When they finally arrived at the airport, the driver wanted to avoid
having a hassle with the passengers. Just to be sure he didn't have any
trouble collecting, he planned on reducing the fare by one-half of his
normal trip rate. He'd already had a long day, and didn't need the problem.
As the car finally came to a stop after a twenty minute drive to the
airport, the driver said, "O.K. We've arrived at the airport, and..."
"What's your fare, mister?!" the leader interrupted the driver rudely.
"And remember we are smart about you guys," he reminded the driver one
more time.
"To show you guys how great I am to visitors of our fine city, I am going
to charge you only $10. Normally, I'd charge at least $20.00 for your
trip. Please pay that and we'll be square."
"O.K.," they replied.
One passenger to the other said, "We sure showed him, didn't we?" as they
paid the driver $10.00 each.
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| Posted by Cameron Gaut on 14-Aug-2005 | KissameAman and his wife were driving their car across the country and were
nearing a town in Florida spelled Kissame. They noted the strange spelling
and tried to figure out how to pronounce it. So they went to a fast food
place and orderd two hamburgers, and the wife asked, "What is the name of
this place? And say it very slowly so I can understand it?" The casheer
replied, "Buuuuuurrrrrrrrggggeeerrrrr Kiiiiinnnnnnggggggg."
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| Posted by Rubester on 14-Aug-2005 | Put Your Jacket on BackwardsTwo bikers were riding down a country road on a Harley. The driver's
leather jacket wouldn't stay closed because the zipper had broken, so he
pulled over. "Just put your jacket on backwards," his buddy suggested.
Then they zoomed off down the road, until they hit a curve at high speed
and crashed. A farmer found them and called the police.
"Is either of them showing any sign of life?" asked the officer.
"Well, the first one was" replied the farmer, "until I turned his head
around the right way."
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| Posted by MOS on 14-Aug-2005 | TupeeAn airstewardess was attending to passengers on an aircraft one day when a
lady approached her looking very angry.
"Excuse me," said the lady, "but I would like to make a complaint!"
"Yes maam?" the stewardess replied.
"I was taking a nap just now when i felt somebody tugging at my panties
and touching my pussy. Tried as i might but I still couldn't find the
culprit !".
The stewardess thought that the lady was trying to play a prank and didn't
take her seriously. Nevertheless, she told the lady that she would look
into the matter straight away.
As she continued serving the passengers, another woman approached her with
the same story. Perplexed, she decided to investigate.
While making her way to the back of the aircraft, she chanced upon an old
man crawling on the floor as though searching for something.
"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?", she said.
" Yes please, my dear lady", he replied. "You see, I am blind, and as luck
would have it, I seemed to have lost my tupee. Could you help me find it?"
"What kind of a tupee, sir?"
"Well, it's kind of small and parted at the side. Twice I thought I had
found it but those were parted at the center."
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