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| Posted by super69 on 14-Aug-2005 | The Plummer's TruckOn a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
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| Posted by Zac C. Condie on 14-Aug-2005 | Fun Things to Do Anywhere1. Sit and stare at someone and don't stop staring.
2. Pick out someone to have a crush on then constantly stalk
them. (this one especially works....I've done it before! but I
actually have a crush on the person, hehe:)
3. When someone talks to you don't answer.
4. Whenever you get blamed for doing something sing "it wasn't
me"
5. If your at the mall walk around and ask people if they like
*N'sync or limp bizket and if the say "no" yell at the top of
your lungs "traitor!!!"
6. At the wishing pond watch people as they make wishes and
throw in money and when they do say to them "ok next time do it
with a little more OMPH"
7. If your out somewhere go to a pay phone and call your house
and act like your a sales person selling "washing machines"
8. If you have AIM make a ton of screen names and IM your
friends on all of them at once.
9. If your on an airplane yell BOMB!!! and then when they find
out there ain't a bomb say "oh, I thought I saw one fly by"
10. At burger king make a big deal out of weather you should
order either fries or onion rings.
11. In computer class tap the keys really hard.
12. At a grocery store every 5 minutes keep going back for the
sample bread until they tell u, you cant have no more.
13. In any public place keep on repeating "pika Pika!"
14. At the movies whenever a really funny part comes on laugh
REALLY loud and start to cough and then exclaim you cant breath.
15. If you sneak into the movies and 1 of the ushers ask for a
ticket stub start to look through your pockets for 1 then when u
cant find it say "I must have lost it"
16. At the hair solon after you get your hair cut scream at them
"you cut it too short! I'm going to sew!
17. At the hair solon after you are all done exclaim that said
you wanted your hair bleached and when they says you didn't,
argue with her/him.
18. Constantly sing "Dancing Queen"
19. Go to the mall and bring a pad of paper and a pencil with u
and ask people if they are Christians and if they aren't put a
tally mark under "People going to hell"
20. If you have your crushes phone # call them up and act like
someone from a different country.
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| Posted by A J Picozzi on 14-Aug-2005 | The Big Sissy!One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was
tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the
light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you
sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear,"
she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice
saying, "The big sissy."
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| Posted by -Roxy- Girl- on 14-Aug-2005 | T-Shirt Slogans 2001T-Shirt Slogans
1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (Seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (Seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
Grew Up"
4. "Procrastinate Now."
5. "Rehab Is for Quitters."
6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With
That?"
8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt)
9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been
Doing Since 15."
10. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING."
11. "West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names."
12. "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the
software."
13. "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN."
14. "A hangover is the wrath of grapes."
15. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance."
16. "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
17. "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music."
18. "MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose."
19. "They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already
taken."
20. "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead."
21. "Time's fun when you're having flies...Kermit the Frog."
22. "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN.... Cops have nothing to go
on."
23. "FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
24. "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH."
25. "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a
thousand times the memory."
26. "The Meek shall inherit the earth.... after we're through
with it."
27. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
28. "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime
ommitment for a pig."
29. "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
30. "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
31. "IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?"
32. "Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
33. "The original point-and-click interface was a Smith Wesson."
34. "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT."
35. "Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit."
36. "Computer programmers know how to use their hardware."
37. "MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup
team."
38. "Nyquil - The stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine."
39. "Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
40. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God, and I didn't."
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| Posted by kicker on 14-Aug-2005 | Everything's A DollarA man walks into the Dollar Tree store and starts looking
around. He picks up a cup and walks up to the sales clerk and
asks how much it is. "That cup, sir, is $1. This is the dollar
store."
The man walks back to look some more. A few minutes later he
goes up to the clerk, "How much is this towel?" The clerk, a
little annoyed, says "It's a dollar!!"
A few minutes later, the man goes up to the clerk once more and
asks how much is a bottle of shampoo. The clerks raises his
voice, "EVERYTHING IS A DOLLAAAARRRRR!!!"
The man comes back the next day with a whole bunch of his
friends and the same clerk was there. The clerk was a little
scared. He thought that was his gang and they were going beat
him up for yelling at the man. But they all grabbed carts and
filled them up with EVERYTHING in the store. The man leaves the
store with his friends and all the stuff in the store and says,
"Everything's a dollar, man, whatta great deal!" and leaves a
dollar on the counter.
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| Posted by Justin Collingwood on 14-Aug-2005 | Playboy Newstand SpectaclesPlayboy Specialty issues that never made it:
- Girls With Gingivitis
- The "Women" of The Crying Game
- The Women of Home Depot
- 1960's Playmates Grown Old and Wrinkled
- The Girls of Rehab
- Constantly Angry Women
- Girls You Wouldn't Date if You Were the Only Man Alive
- The Women of Circus Sideshows
- Drab, Unsexy Lingerie
- Old Women in Parkas
- Playmates Receiving Oscars (Special April Fool's Issue)
- Invisible Women
- Girls Who Fell and Can't Get Up
- Women of Wal-Mart
- Women Racked With Self Doubt,Feelings of Abandonment, PMS and
Inner Torment
- Chain Smoking Ladies
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