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| Posted by Mr. Crapspew on 08-Aug-2005 | The Road RunnerThe Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!"
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked"
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.
The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"
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| Posted by Jayla M. McLeod on 08-Aug-2005 | For Bird Lovers!I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perch on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
And gently lowered the window
And crushed his freakin' head!
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| Posted by Elsa Romxo on 08-Aug-2005 | Have you Ever...Have you ever smelled mothballs????
I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open!!!!
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| Posted by KathyB on 08-Aug-2005 | Warning: Ignore the parrot!On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!"
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you witch!"
Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now or I'll kick your ass!"
Suddenly, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says...
"For someone who can't fly, you sure are a ballsy bastard!"
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| Posted by alvin t. decker on 08-Aug-2005 | Screwing RoosterThere was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters.
So in order to get eggs he went and got a rooster. The man he got the rooster form told him that the rooster would screw everything in sight. But the farmer wanted the rooster anyway.
So he took it home and it screwed all the chickens. After a while it started screwing all the other farm animals.
So one day the farmer walked up to the rooster and said,"Ya better stop screwing everything or you will screw yourself to death!" But the rooster just kept on screwing.
One day the farmer was walking through the field, and he found the rooster laying on the ground with buzzards flying all around.
So he walked up to the rooster and said,"I told you you'd screw yourself to death!" then the rooster opened his eyes and said, - "SHUT-UP! I'm trying to get them to land!"
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| Posted by Stu D. Baker on 08-Aug-2005 | The Chicken and The EggA Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the egg looking thoroughly ticked off.
The egg looks at the chicken and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
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