The Top 15 Odd Side Effects of Hurricanes

New Bumper stickers

• I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.
• If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
• Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.
• Bad Cop! No donut!
• Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.
• She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Interesting Questions....

• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
• If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
• Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
• What do chickens think we taste like?
• What do people in China call their good plates?
• What do you call a male ladybug?
• What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
• When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
• Which is the other side of the street?
• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
• Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Numbers of the Beast

• 660 -- Approximate number of The Beast
• DCLXVI -- Roman numeral of The Beast
• 666.000000 -- Number of the High Precision Beast
• 0.666 -- Number of the Millibeast
• / 666 -- Beast Common Denominator
• 0.005015 -- Reciprical of the Beast.
• 666i -- Imaginary number of The Beast
• 1010011010 -- Binary number of The Beast
• 443556 -- Square of the Beast
• 2.8235 -- Log of the beast
• 6.5913 -- Ln Beast
• 1.738E289 -- Anti-log of the beast
• 6.66E2 --Scientific number of the Beast
• 29A -- Hexadecimal number of the Beast
• 666! -_ Factorial of the Beast
• 6, uh... what was that number again? -- Number of the Blonde Beast
• 1-666 -- Area code of The Beast
• 00666 -- Zip code of The Beast
• <Mailto://666@hell.org. -- E-mail address of the beast
• <http://www.666.org.html. -- web-page of the Beast
• 1-900-666-0666 -- Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
• $665.95 -- Retail price of The Beast
• $55.50 -- Monthly cost of the Beast in twelve easy equal monthly installments
• $699.25 -- Price of The Beast plus 5% state sales tax
• $769.95 -- Price of The Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
• $656.66 -- WalMart price of The Beast
• $646.66 -- Next week's WalMart price of The Beast
• Phillips 666 -- Gasoline of The Beast
• Route 666 -- Way of The Beast (Highway to Hell)
• 666 Minutes -- Weekly news program about the Beast
• 666 F -- Oven temperature for roast Beast
• 664 & 668 - Neighbours of the Beast
• 666k -- Retirement plan of The Beast
• 666 mg -- Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
• 6.66 % -- 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
• Lotus 6-6-6 -- Spreadsheet of The Beast
• Word 6.66 -- Word Processor of The Beast
• i66686 -- CPU of The Beast
• 666-I -- BMW of The Beast
• 665.99999973 _ Intel Pentium number of the Beast
• 666 Sunset Strip _- Old T. V. series about the Beast soon on Nick-At-Nite
• DSM-666 (revised) -- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The Beast
• Windows 666 -- Bill Gates' personal Beast

Things Will Rogers Never Said

• Every teen-ager should get a high school education -- even if they already know everything
• Somethings that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
• A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell
• The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
• Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer. It's called a clothes line
• Leaders go down in history -- some farther down than others
• Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them
• Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired
• For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
• It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
• The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
• The argument you just won with your spouse isn't over yet
• The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes

Quotes

• Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
• If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
• No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
• Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
• If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?
• If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.
• If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on.
• One good turn gets most of the blankets.
• It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
• There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.
• It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
• My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
• There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
• An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
• If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn fool.
• Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.
• No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.
• You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
• Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.