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| Posted by Melinda T. Tindall on 13-Aug-2005 | Marketing Translation FlopsChevrolet Nova didn't do well in Spanish speaking countries ... Nova means 'No Go' ...
Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name 'Pavian' to suggest French chic ... but 'Pavian' means 'baboon' in German.
A peanut-packed chocolate bar targeted at Japanese teenagers needing energy while cramming for exams ran headlong into a belief that eating peanuts and chocolate causes nosebleeds.
Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink, 'Avoid Embarrassment - Use Quink' into Spanish as 'Evite Embarazos - Use Quink' ... which also means 'Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink.'
When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the USA - the cute baby on the label. Later, when investigating lower than expected sales figures, they found out that it is common practice in Africa to put pictures of the contents on food i package labels.
Coors slogan, 'Turn it Loose,' translated into Spanish as 'Suffer From Diarrhea.'
Puffs tissues had a bad name in Germany since 'Puff' is a colloquial term for whorehouse.
Jolly Green Giant translated into Arabic means 'Intimidating Green Ogre.'
When Coca-Cola first came to China, it was given a similar sounding name ... but the characters used for the name meant 'Bite the Wax tadpole.'
Chicken magnate Frank Perdue wants us to know that 'It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken,' but the Spanish translation came out as 'It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate.'
The "Got Milk?" campaign was used in Mexico or wherever, and it translated as, "Are you lactating?"
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| Posted by foxee sexee chik on 13-Aug-2005 | more humor1. Depression is merely anger without enthuiasm
2. Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines
3. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
4. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
5. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
6. Everyone has a photographic memory. However, some do not have film.
7. So do you think you know it all. What is the speed of the dark?
8. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet
soup.
9. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
10. Why does Sea World have a seafood resturant. I am halfway through my
Fishburger and I realize I could be eating a slow learner!!!
11. Many people quit looking for a job when they find work.
12. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines
13. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
I always wondered???????
1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
3. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
4. How is it possible to have a civil war?
5. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
8. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
9. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
10. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
11. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
12. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
13. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
14. What happens when none of your bees wax?
15. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't
everyone just move 10 miles away
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| Posted by Sean Wicklund on 13-Aug-2005 | How To Be A CultistHow To Be A Cultist:
Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for
Cultists.
1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
the amateur.
2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.
3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.
4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during
thunderstorms.
5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
this enough. Pastel-colored candles in the shape of cute animals are
like beacons to the Powers of Darkness.
6. Always keep your kit with you: candles, chalk, incense, silver
knife, Thuggee cord, service revolver, garlic, Yellow Sign, cab fare,
condoms, and change.
7. NEVER be the cultist that goes to rough up the hero(es).
Ransacking hotel rooms is probably safe, but going +round to beat up
the good guys is a sure route to the bottom of the Thames.
8. When the Black Mass goes awry, stay away from the Evil Priest.
Enraged demons always go for the pompous.
9. Don't gloat.
10. If you can't resist gloating, don't reveal your plans.
11. If you do gloat and reveal your plans, don+t leave the hero(es)
to die slowly. They don+t.
12. If you gloat, reveal your plans, and leave the hero(es) to die
slowly, don+t have the audacity to look surprised when they turn up at
the last moment to foil your evil plot.
13. The hero (or heroes) will always show up at the last possible
moment to foil your plans. With this in mind, start half an hour
early+they hate that.
14. Plan ahead by selecting ceremonial robes that are easy to run in
while still affording ample concealment.
15. Never screw anything whose genetic structure you are not
absolutely comfortable with.
16. Never admit to screwing anything whose genetic structure you are
not absolutely comfortable with.
17. When a religious artifact begins emitting light, CLOSE YOUR
EYES.
Thousands of cultists could be saved every year if they+d just
remember this simple safety tip.
18. When mutilating cattle, avoid the ones with testicles.
19. During ritual sacrificing, taking bits home for later is now
generally considered -bad form.-
20. Blood tests are now required for all sacrificial victims before
the ritual. The effects of HIV+ offerings on the average malefic
deity have never been witnessed by anyone living, or even intact.
21. Contrary to historical belief, drugs and invocations do not mix.
When the shit comes down, it is vitally necessary to be able to
discern between the gibbering monstrosity to throw the holy water on
and the gibbering monstrosity that will fade away after a few hours,
some B-complex, and a good hot bath.
22. Never play strip Tarot.
23. Piety and belief are powerful things, and few forces in nature
can stand against one who is true to his faith, his God, and his own
soul. However, it is also true that the Gods tend to side with the
heaviest artillery, so be prepared change sides at the drop of a hat.
24. For those situations where a fresh, living sacrifice is just not
feasible (or even possible), the lower ranks of demons can be fooled
by microwaving a previously-frozen chunk of ex-victim and cleverly
jiggling it. However, a mock victim sculpted from Spam + is right
out.
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