|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
():top list jokes (540): The Top 15 Signs Reality TV Has Jumped the Shark |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Emma Liles on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 15 Signs Reality TV Has Jumped the Shark15> "The Bachelor" this season? Joey Buttafuoco.
14> Fox's latest offering: "Who Wants to Marry Ted McGinley?"
13> The public has voted that Bruce-Dogg and Big Willie from cell block H are to get married.
12> "Who Wants to Jump the Shark?" actually speeds up the entire process.
11> Saddam Hussein begs and pleads his way through "I'm a Celebrity -- Get Me Out Of Here!"
10> "For the next immunity challenge, each member of both tribes will pull my finger."
9> You tune in to find that "Blowing for Dollars" was not a misprint.
8> "Amazing Racists" only have to get from Pretoria to Johannesburg.
7> Someone finally gives viewers what they really want with "Who Wants to Beat a Millionaire?"
6> Way too many exploding stomachs on "Survivor: Hometown Buffet."
5> Aaron Neville and Cindy Crawford tie for first place in "Celebrity Mole."
4> There hasn't been a homicide on "Joe Pocket-Full-o'-Crack" in weeks.
3> The contestants on "Trading Genitals" are just a bit too eager.
2> Somebody keeps dumping chum in the "Elimidate" hot tub.
1> The most disgusting thing that "Fear Factor" contestants were forced to eat last week was a box of Marshmallow Peeps with only one eye.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jamee M. Warner on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 15 Odd Side Effects of Hurricanes15> Anti-terrorist cruise missile blown off course "just happens" to land on Ken Starr.
14> Drop in barometric pressure causes unexpected Viagra failure and results in a sudden surge in Trans Am purchases.
13> In Florida, howling of winds drowns out howling from Kennedy Compound.
12> Same $100 million hurricane damage in the Carolinas only costs $23.89 dollars in Alabama.
11> Employees at the Olean factory have no problem with orders to evacuate immediately.
10> Pamela Anderson experiences whiplash as breasts fly in opposite directions.
9> Jesse Helms actually observed leaning slightly to the left.
8> South Carolinians can now projectile-vomit over 430 feet!
7> Drop in barometric pressure causes girl-scout cookies to swell so large that they're temporarily worth six bucks a box.
6> Inexplicable changes in Al Roker's magnetic field.
5> Sudden shortage of Springer guests, as incest and promiscuity take a back seat to gettin' the ol' trailer right-side up again.
4> Headlines with the word "blow", but no mention whatsoever of Monica.
3> Pre-storm rush allows supermarkets to finally get rid of old stock of Spam and Zima.
2> Earl the plywood salesman starts tippin' fives at the topless club.
1> White House interns get time off while the President drops his pants and lets nature take its course.
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by whatever u. want on 14-Aug-2005 | New Bumper stickers- I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.
- If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
- Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.
- Bad Cop! No donut!
- Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.
- She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by emipa on 14-Aug-2005 | Interesting Questions....- If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
- If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
- If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
- What do chickens think we taste like?
- What do people in China call their good plates?
- What do you call a male ladybug?
- What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
- Which is the other side of the street?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by DlineChick on 14-Aug-2005 | Numbers of the BeastNumbers of the Beast
- 660 -- Approximate number of The Beast
- DCLXVI -- Roman numeral of The Beast
- 666.000000 -- Number of the High Precision Beast
- 0.666 -- Number of the Millibeast
- / 666 -- Beast Common Denominator
- 0.005015 -- Reciprical of the Beast.
- 666i -- Imaginary number of The Beast
- 1010011010 -- Binary number of The Beast
- 443556 -- Square of the Beast
- 2.8235 -- Log of the beast
- 6.5913 -- Ln Beast
- 1.738E289 -- Anti-log of the beast
- 6.66E2 --Scientific number of the Beast
- 29A -- Hexadecimal number of the Beast
- 666! -_ Factorial of the Beast
- 6, uh... what was that number again? -- Number of the Blonde Beast
- 1-666 -- Area code of The Beast
- 00666 -- Zip code of The Beast
- <Mailto://666@hell.org. -- E-mail address of the beast
- <http://www.666.org.html. -- web-page of the Beast
- 1-900-666-0666 -- Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
- $665.95 -- Retail price of The Beast
- $55.50 -- Monthly cost of the Beast in twelve easy equal monthly installments
- $699.25 -- Price of The Beast plus 5% state sales tax
- $769.95 -- Price of The Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
- $656.66 -- WalMart price of The Beast
- $646.66 -- Next week's WalMart price of The Beast
- Phillips 666 -- Gasoline of The Beast
- Route 666 -- Way of The Beast (Highway to Hell)
- 666 Minutes -- Weekly news program about the Beast
- 666 F -- Oven temperature for roast Beast
- 664 & 668 - Neighbours of the Beast
- 666k -- Retirement plan of The Beast
- 666 mg -- Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
- 6.66 % -- 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
- Lotus 6-6-6 -- Spreadsheet of The Beast
- Word 6.66 -- Word Processor of The Beast
- i66686 -- CPU of The Beast
- 666-I -- BMW of The Beast
- 665.99999973 _ Intel Pentium number of the Beast
- 666 Sunset Strip _- Old T. V. series about the Beast soon on Nick-At-Nite
- DSM-666 (revised) -- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The Beast
- Windows 666 -- Bill Gates' personal Beast
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Corny Da Cob on 14-Aug-2005 | Things Will Rogers Never Said(but probably wishes he had)
- Every teen-ager should get a high school education -- even if they already know everything
- Somethings that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
- A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell
- The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
- Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer. It's called a clothes line
- Leaders go down in history -- some farther down than others
- Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them
- Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired
- For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
- It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
- The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
- The argument you just won with your spouse isn't over yet
- The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
