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():bar jokes (2610): The Top 16 Signs You've Had Too Much to Drink |
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| Posted by pete w. rushin on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 16 Signs You've Had Too Much to Drink
16> The pants you just wet are not your own.
15> Her lips may be saying, "Baaaaa," but her eyes are screaming, "YES!"
14> "I love the TopFive Lissst. NO, NO, I LOVE THE TOPFIVE LIST! I DO, I REALLLY REAALLLY DO."
13> Well, five boilermakers ago you would have qualified as an English soccer fan.
12> You just woke up next to a teddy bear you don't recognize, with its paws in an inappropriate location.
11> You wake up and realize you slept with a dog. A REAL dog.
10> The ATF suggests that you take up smoking instead.
9> You have vomit on your jacket. It's not yours, but there it is, nevertheless.
8> Your bed spins at 33 rpm.
7> Your liver is trying to dial 9-1-1.
6> You wake up naked in a strange car, clutching a keg tap and sporting fresh ink on your nether regions. Not that I'd know.
5> John Kerry's starting to sound like he's taking a position on something.
4> In a sudden moment of clarity, Bush's foreign policy strikes you as shrewd and effective.
3> You see pink elephants... and get them to give you a ride home.
2> You squish when you blink.
1> You are seriously considering voting for Ralph Nader.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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():bar jokes (2610): The Top 13 Excuses for Being Drunk, Naked and Covered With Nacho Cheese |
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| Posted by Terry Emhemed on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 13 Excuses for Being Drunk, Naked and Covered With Nacho Cheese
13> Fell for that fake back-hair removal scam. Again.
12> Mayor McCheese got a little kinky.
11> Hey, stalking Kirstie Alley isn't for amateurs.
10> "Okay, so maybe 'Gigli' didn't make a whole lot of money, but I have this idea for a great sequel...."
9> "The directions in the old family recipe I'm following are very explicit."
8> The thrill of being the future Mrs. Federline is starting to wane.
7> Participating in a lactose-intolerance clinical trial by wearing a full-body "nacho cheese" patch.
6> Excessive tequila shots + Mexican-style fondue = one nudist wedding gone seriously awry.
5> Because getting stoned in a hot pink "Home of the Whopper" boy-kini while standing ass-deep in mango chutney would be WRONG!
4> Eight Jaeger Bombs into the kegger, that babe from Omega House just *had* to ask, "So why do they call you Chip?"
3> After being ostracized from your party after that screaming incident, you really didn't have anything to lose politically.
2> Trying to beat Courtney Love to the punch.
1> You'd prefer *sober*, naked and covered with nacho cheese?
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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