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| Posted by Critcal Moment on 10-Aug-2005 | The TruthAt school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults
are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it
very easy to blackmail them by saying, ???I know the whole
truth??? -- even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted
by his mother at the front door he says, ???I know the whole
truth.??? His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, ???Just
don't tell your father.???
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home
from work, and greets him with, ???I know the whole truth.???
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, ???Please don't
say a word to your mother.???
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day,
when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets
him by saying, ???I know the whole truth.??? The mailman drops
the mail, opens his arms and says, ???Then come give your
FATHER a big hug.???
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| Posted by Teresa Adams on 10-Aug-2005 | No PunishmentBoy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cuz I didn't do my homework!
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| Posted by ryanjenkins on 10-Aug-2005 | Children's GamesA little boy runs into his house and asks, "Mom, can little
girls have babies?"
The mom answers, "No, of course not." The little boy runs
outside, yelling, "It's ok, we can play the game again!"
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| Posted by Jennifer Dente on 10-Aug-2005 | Chores on the FarmA young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother
asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
"No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop,
milk the cow and feed the pigs."
The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it.
When he is finished he he kicks a chicken. Next, we walks
to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After
milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the
food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His
mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple.
Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and
my sausage?"
"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now
you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you
don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't
get any sausage."
Just then, the boy's father walks in and kicks the cat. The
boy says to his mother, "Should I tell him now, or do you
want to?"
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| Posted by Awkward on 10-Aug-2005 | Mafia ChristmasA mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list
to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a
good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at
it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.
He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear
baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so
I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and
throws it away.
He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes
a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and
locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and
writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your
mother again..."
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| Posted by Lucky Lucy on 10-Aug-2005 | Sex Relatively Speaking"Dad," asked son, "What's that shriveled up old thing on
Grandma ?"
Dad replied "That's Grandpa".
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