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| Posted by Bob LobLaw on 10-Aug-2005 | The worst golf playerThe worst golf player in history must have been Adolf Hitler.
He never got out of the bunker.
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| Posted by KissyFace on 10-Aug-2005 | A good driverWhat does Tiger Woods have that Princess Di didn't?
A good driver. (I know...very bad taste!)
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| Posted by Laura Nowicki on 10-Aug-2005 | Olympic teamWhy doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
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| Posted by Matt Freeman on 10-Aug-2005 | THE PESSIMISTAn avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended
when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature,
and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a
flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across
the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.
The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything
unusual about my new dog?"
I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim.
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| Posted by Crazy Chick on 10-Aug-2005 | OH-LADY-HOOThree hunters decided if they got separated or lost, they would use the
yodeling cry "oh-lady-hoo" to help locate each other. One hunter got lost and
yelled "oh-lady-hoo" until he was hoarse but to no avail.
When it began to get dark, he gave up trying to find his friends, saw light at
a nearby farmhouse, knocked on the front door and asked the farmer if he could
stay the night.
"No problem," he said, "I've got a spare room you're welcome to use."
Toward morning, the hunter was awakened by the farmer's young daughter as she
slipped into his bed. In no time at all they were going at it hot and heavy and
in a few minutes she had an orgasm. Her cries of ecstasy soon brought an angry
father into the bedroom.
He had a loaded shotgun and said to the hunter, "You better get dressed real
fast 'cause you and me are going down to the barnyard to see if you can haul ass
fast enough to outrun a load of buckshot!"
As soon as they reached the barnyard, the frightened hunter took off like a
scalded cat, jumped high in the air to clear the barnyard fence, thought of his
missing friends, yelled "oh-lady-hoo" and instantly received a full load of
buckshot in his rear end.
As he lay on the ground bleeding profusely, the farmer walked up and said, "I
know my daughter pretty well and had my mind halfway made up not to shoot. But,
when you yelled, 'I got the old lady too,' that changed my mind real quick."
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| Posted by Rambo U. Thirtythree on 10-Aug-2005 | Confucius sayConfucius say that baseball very funny game; man can walk on 4 balls.
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