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():nerd jokes (650): There is no difference between theory and...


Posted by dawn whispers on 07-Aug-2005

There is no difference between theory and...

There is no difference between theory and practice in theory, but there is often a great deal of difference between theory and practice in practice.
   

1 people have rated this joke:
8.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Ear this


Posted by Kitty Devil on 13-Aug-2005

Ear this

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this 'unusual' handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business.

So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But, he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them.

The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy said, 'Now that you mention it, you have no ears.' The man got really upset and threw the guy out.

The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' This guy also noticed, 'Yes, you have no ears.' The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.

Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?'

The guy replied 'Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses.' Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?'

The guy burst out laughing and said, 'Well, You can't wear glasses if you don't have any fucking ears!'


   

5 people have rated this joke:
7.60/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why...


Posted by Dfg Dfb on 07-Aug-2005

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why...

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

   

4 people have rated this joke:
7.50/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Two engineering students were walking across...


Posted by mike harcus on 07-Aug-2005

Two engineering students were walking across...

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.33/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon...


Posted by Nick Jerimiah on 07-Aug-2005
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon...
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
- Mike Adams

   

2 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Doctor's diet


Posted by J C. B on 13-Aug-2005
Doctor's diet
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. ''I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.''

When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. ''Why, that's amazing!'' the doctor said, ''Did you follow my instructions?''

The woman nodded. ''I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.''

''From hunger, you mean?''

''No, from skipping.''


   

1 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

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