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| Posted by super p. man on 10-Aug-2005 | THINGS go better with CokeAn airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction,
and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They
searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything
about the crash.
The Chief said, "You betcha!"
When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we
drank the Pepsi."
The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The Chief replied, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."
After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you...you
know...eat, their...'things'?"
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuer.
"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."
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| Posted by Freak in snow on 10-Aug-2005 | English, Irishman, Scotsman jokeThere was an Englishman Irishman and a Scotsman who worked on a building site.
It was time for their dinner so the Englishman opened his bait box and said
"if I get cheese sandwiches tomorrow I will throw myself off that bridge" the
Scotsman and Irishman say the same
so the next day comes and the Englishman has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off
the bridge
the Scotsman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the
bridge and the Irishman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off
the bridge
at the funeral the wives meet up and the Englishman??™s wife says "I could of
just made him another kind of sandwich" the Scotsman??™s wife says I would of got
another kind of cheese" the Irishman??™s wife says I do not know why he jumped he
made his own sandwiches.
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| Posted by Riababe on 10-Aug-2005 | The Three FoodsThere were three kids that needed a place to stay for the night. They saw a
house and knocked..... A farmer answered the door and the kids asked if they
could stay the night. The farmer said yes and told them to sleep in the barn but
no matter what DON'T eat his wife's fresh baked pie. So the kids went to sleep.
It was 5:00am when they woke up and they were so hungry that they ate the pie.
On the next day the farmer was going to punish them and he told them to go pick
one fruit each. So thy did. The first kid came back with an orange and the
farmer out it up his nose! The second kid came back with a cherry and the farmer
put it up his nose! Both kids started laughing and laughing. The farmer said why
is you laughing this were supposed to hurt. They said we saw the third kid
picking a watermelon.
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| Posted by jessica r. church on 10-Aug-2005 | Business tripA man goes to Japan for a business trip. The President of the business is
Japanese and insists it is only right for the man to sleep with his wife. The
man says no I'm married. The boss insists though that he sleeps with his wife.
So the man says," ok just tonight." Well all night the boss??™s wife is saying
Muchaka, Muchaka. The next day the man and his boss are golfing. When they got
to the eighteenth hole everything was going good and the boss was about to give
the man a raise. The man got out his wood and took a shot. He got a hole and
one. After the ball went in the boss??™s wife said Muchaka. The man said to his
boss," your wife said Muchaka all last night and said it again just know. What
does it mean?" the boss replied.??? it means wrong hole."
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| Posted by Magic Mike on 10-Aug-2005 | You make me flip my lidQ: What did the can say to the can opener?
A: You make me flip my lid.
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| Posted by chatty girl on 10-Aug-2005 | Fishing For a SaleA keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In
fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The
boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
Yes, I was a salesman in the country,??? said the lad. The boss liked the cut of
him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close
up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock
came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make
today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff makes 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale worth?"
"Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook,
then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small
fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going
fishing and he said down the coast.
I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat
department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he
said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the
car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to
a guy who came in for a fish hook?"
"No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife
and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing."
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